THE BLOG
08/04/2010 01:21 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Supreme Court Justices Naked Under Their Robes

2010-08-04-supremecourt.jpg
They'll dress for official photos, but in court things are, er, looser.

A Supreme Court insider has revealed that, despite their conservative appearances, the Chief Justices, while court is in session, are each buck-naked under their robes!

The insider, who would only speak on condition of anonymity, explained that "It's a secret tradition dating all the way back to 1789 and John Jay, the first Supreme Court Justice. You know the expression 'Naked as a Jaybird'? One day just before court session, Jay spilled coffee all over his shirt and pants and had none others to change into. So he just wore the robe over his 'birthday suit.' The other justices found out and razzed him about it, but apparently it just kind of caught on and became this very secret tradition - secret until now, that is."

The judicial nudity, however, serves another beneficial purpose as well, according to Washington, D.C.-area psychologist Marina Pemburton. "Theirs is an extremely high-pressured, high work load, high-stakes job. Anything they can do to 'take the edge off,' including the secret nudity, can only help to keep them relaxed and centered."

In the insider's opinion, however, "perhaps they're a bit too relaxed and centered as a result of the daily nudity." He reveals, for example, that:

  • Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's license plate frame is emblazoned, "Lawyers Do It In Court"
  • Justice Samuel Alito Jr. will often pass young female interns in the hallway and ask them, "Would you like to come back to my office and examine the penal code?"
  • Justice Sonia Sotomayor cracks herself up inquiring of the male justices, "Is that a gavel in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"
  • Justice Clarence Thomas has directed the bailiff, instead of announcing "Court is in session," to proclaim, "Hello, Washington! Are you ready to par-tay?! Then let's git down with your own bad self!"
  • Justice David Souter loves whispering into Justice Ginsburg's ear: "The word for the day is 'legs.' Spread the word"
  • Justice John Paul Stevens often asks the female court guards, "If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
  • Justice Anthony M. Kennedy often refers to two attorneys and their client as "a hot threesome"
  • Justice Stephen Breyer mouths the words "I love you" to attractive female attorneys, and between sessions, roams the hallways wearing a shirt that says "I'm a Virgin (This is a very old T-shirt")

But the Supreme Court Justices are not the only American workers to have maintained unusual historical traditions. According to inside sources, the officers of the American Medical Association will often hire dozens of strippers and give them thorough physical examinations. Male members of the Springfield Chamber of Commerce will hold their annual meeting at an Indian Sweat Lodge in which they strip down to thongs as they drum and chant in this bonding ritual. And the Teamsters' annual Virgin Treasure Hunt is, well, self-explanatory.