09/13/2012 08:28 am ET Updated Nov 13, 2012

Shocking Inside Story of Romney's Libya Gaffe

Mitt's foot: "Jesus Christ, you just shot me!"

Mitt's hip: "I'm sorry, foot, I'm really, really, really sorry."

Mitt's foot: "I can't feel my third and fourth metatarsals."

Mitt's hip: "I can't tell you how awful I feel. It was like one minute I've got the thing in the holster and the next minute I've got it out and I'm shooting at something."

Mitt's foot: "What were you shooting at?"

Mitt's hip: "Obama."

Mitt's foot: "How the hell could you think I was Obama?"

Mitt's hip: "I'm a hip, foot, not a brain. I did the best I could under very difficult circumstances."

Mitt's foot: "Well why didn't you just let the brain handle it?"

Mitt's hip: "It was tied up."

Mitt's foot: "With what?"

Mitt's hip: "Policy."

Mitt's foot: "What do you mean 'policy.'?"

Mitt's hip: "That's all it would tell me."

Mitt's foot: "So what now?"

Mitt's hip: "I think we've gotta act like nothing happened, maybe smooth it over by telling everybody that you've gone back home."

Mitt's foot: "And that would be where?"

Mitt's hip: "In his mouth."