02/04/2015 03:59 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

The Key to True Transformation

Have you noticed that there is a lot of talk these days about transformation being the brass ring on the personal growth fast track? Have you noticed an up-tick in what I call "make-over madness" meaning change is the answer to being stuck in a rut? I have.

More and more, my clients have turned to me yearning to understand how they can achieve personal transformation and when I explore what that looks like for them they say they don't have a clue. That intrigues me.

Do you ever wonder why transformation remains an elusive and vague experience even when you do all the right things, say all the right things, take all the supposedly correct action steps, commit to making changes on Jan. 1, set your goals, learn how to measure them, change your hair style and/or hair color (make-over madness), change your thoughts and assure they are positive, follow the guru's advise to the letter, write that sage advise down and post it all over your car, office and home?

Many of my clients wonder about these things too and are frustrated, confused and yes, even angry at times.

News Flash: Based on my 35 years of experience as a nurse and Family Nurse Practitioner and now as a Fearless Living Life Coach, transformation does not require change. It does require self-acceptance. In fact, self-acceptance is the key to transformation.

Self-acceptance radiates outward from self-love. Transformation achieved via self-acceptance can occur even if you choose not to change a hair on your head. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zero.
It is a practice, not an event. This is a mouth full I realize that.


There is a pathway to self-acceptance I call Gentle Medicine. This is a way that helps us to open our minds,souls and hearts to the very essence of who we are. These are the steps on the pathway of Gentle Medicine. Take a look:

1. Breathe. It connects us to our essence.
2. Nurture the solitude of self. Be courageous enough to be alone.
3. Enter silence while awake and everyday.
4. Appreciate beauty. It is all around you.
5. Know what you know. Be willing to be wise.
6. Give and receive love. It opens you to the rhythms of life.
7. Love yourself unconditionally. That means without conditions.
8. Ask for help when you need it.
9. Generously receive the help offered to you.
10.Laughing out loud. It is the good kind of contagious.
11.Practicing forgiveness. It is a practice, not an event. Like self-acceptance.
12.Be out in nature whenever possible. Nature is everywhere we are.
13. Be kind. No exceptions.

The practice of Gentle Medicine creates a powerful place within you. From this place you can stay still, or take your next step towards change all pointing personal transformation. From that centered and confident place, change may or may not occur. It is a place of freedom. Transformation is now a choice you make from a place of peaceful and personal power, insight, wisdom and, let's face it, pure and simple courage. Sometimes not doing anything differently and accepting yourself exactly where you are in the moment is the most potent resolution for growth you can make.

Welcome to the New Year.
May you continue to walk in the peace and freedom of Gentle Medicine.

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