07/30/2013 10:30 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Mid 20s


I have been 26 years old for the past 10 days. Can you believe that? Ten whole days of being another year into my mid 20s. This is the period in one's life when everything starts to come together, isn't it?

When I was in my early 20s, I thought I had it all. At the tender age of 21, my world was complete: I was a gay housewife living with a Broadway chorus boy and taking care of our ever-so-rude and not-very-interested-in-my-life Siamese cat. Isn't this what every young twink dreams of: middle-class incomes, Oprah and The View on loop and unlimited amounts of vodka, wine, and marijuana?

Eventually this self-important and self-indulgent life had to come to an end, because it simply didn't work for me anymore. Somewhere deep down I still had a moral compass, and that compass was pointing in a far-off direction. I needed to get back on course with what I knew deep in my heart was important. Twenty-three years old and already hitting bottom? I had to sober up and get my shit together.

Now that a few years have gone by and I am self-supporting, not needing or wanting to rely on a man for financial support but having the ability to take care of myself, I am starting to see things in a new light. No longer do I need to look back at the past and see a projection of the wreckage of my future. Living in the day is much more satisfying.

As I throw myself back into the dating pool of life, I have to remember to keep my ego and self-centered thoughts to a minimum so that I can stay focused and grounded. Showing up for other people, whether they be lovers, friends, or parents, is so much more on the course of life that I want to be taking.

Muhammad Ali said, "Service to others is the rent we pay for our room here on Earth." If we turn our life over to service and gratitude, we can envision a life beyond anything we had every imagined. This is my life lesson at 26 years and 10 days old. I hope to continue on this journey for as long as I can.

Life as a twunk (former twink) seems to be looking up. Let the journey begin.