06/11/2015 06:51 pm ET Updated Jun 11, 2016

The Process of Forming a Paradigm

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Who we are, what we do and whatever we become is within our control.

Some people simply do not know this. They believe that we are controlled by outside events. The truth is that we control the events around us through our thoughts, actions and choices.

Why do we believe so strongly that outside events or circumstances control our lives? Probably because of something called a "paradigm." A paradigm is defined as a pattern, example or archetype.

This kind of paradigm creates the results of our actions, including how much money we make, how healthy we are, how happy we are and who we love. Our paradigm is another word for our reality, and everyone's paradigm is slightly different from those around us.

When we have failed to reach a goal time after time, or if we have only achieved part of what we want, it may be because we do not truly believe, in our heart, that we have the ability to create a life we love living.

If we could figure out what is happening with our paradigm, we could probably change everything we want about our lives, effortlessly.

How to Shift a Paradigm

It is important to remember that those around us who have negative or poorly structured paradigms may not be the ones responsible for creating their realities. A person's paradigm is not entirely their fault.

Paradigms are formed from many years of experience and by what people are taught by teachers, parents, friends and the world at large. These lessons are so ingrained that it can be challenging for a person to realize that they are in the middle of a negative paradigm until it is pointed out to them.

To these people, failure seems like the norm. Some people even get comfortable with failure because it is what they have come to expect after years of negative reinforcement.

If their message has always been, "Without an education, the only jobs available are minimum wage," or, "You can only make money if you work really hard," then it stands to reason that a person would live their life believing that they have to work hard, putting up with unappealing environments or people so that they can make money.

But what if it that weren't true?

What if we could create a new reality?

We can begin today to change our paradigm and, with it, the entire world. Do you want to make more money? It is not just a matter of working harder.

It is also a matter of setting our expectations, or our paradigm, to reflect the reality of earning more. Seek out others who may have no education but have great jobs and find out how they did it.

Align with their paradigm.

Do you want true love?

Open your paradigm to the possibility that true love exists and see how you attract more love in your life. Otherwise, the reality we experience will continue to reflect our current paradigm; that there is no one worthy of our love, even if we don't realize that this is what we are doing.

Have you ever heard a little voice in your head whispering, "I am not a person who finds financial success, happiness or true love, so why bother trying? I will screw up this opportunity or relationship like I always do and will once again be broke, unhappy and alone. This is the mold I was meant to occupy." Once we accept this voice as "truth," it is inevitable that our relationships will fail, our income will stay the same or we will simply not reach our goals.

There's a saying, "If you aren't getting what you want, change what you want."

That seems simple and impossible all at once... If you want a relationship, it doesn't mean stop wanting a relationship, but rather shift your perspective of who is worthy of a relationship with you.

If you've only dated accountants, try dating a teacher. What you want is a relationship. The paradigm can only shift if you allow room for a different reality.

Each step you take towards the shift changes the final outcome.

We can alter our paradigms to reflect true happiness by shifting our belief about our
circumstances. It can be as simple as that. What paradigm are you willing to shift today?