07/31/2015 05:31 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Seven Things They Don't Tell You Before Becoming a Parent


The well-intentioned advice of family or friends may not cover EVERYTHING about being the parent of a young child. Heck some of the parenting books may not cover all of it. Here are seven things they don't tell you before you enter the realm of parenthood:

There is such thing as projectile poop - They warn you and they warn you about what a little boy is capable of. You pull that diaper and could easily be staring into a fountain with that sudden rush of air. What they don't tell you is that when you lift those legs you need to be careful. The walls may need to be cleaned shortly after.

There is such a thing as an ugly baby - Mine was freaking adorable, and I firmly believe that. But every parent will surely tell you the same thing. Take an extra look at the next few infants you see. They are not all created equal.

Every time you leave the house you are moving - The sheer volume of stuff required to make a simple trip to run errands with an infant is astounding. When you leave your child with someone for a few hours it may require five trips to the car. As they start to become toddlers less and less will be needed to make the trip.

Cleaning just became impossible - When they are infants it is because of the clutter bomb that just exploded and took over your stuff. When they are toddlers the clutter bomb keeps expanding. The moment you decide you are sick of it and want to clean, they are right behind you to grabbing every book and toy, knocking them to the floor. Cleaning with a toddler present is one of life's greatest challenges.

Toddler brains thrive on repetition - It's a good thing for development. That's how they learn things. My 2-year-old son just read his parents one of his books, cover to cover, the other night before bed. He did this on sheer memory. However when you show them a YouTube video or play them Let it Go for the MILLIONTH time and the first thing they say is "Again?" I promise it will get old. You're a parent, but you are also human.

The cleanup involved with meals is astounding - The most difficult lesson for a toddler to learn is that food cannot be digested through osmosis, but it's not for lack of trying. The messier the food the more creative places your toddler will put it. Laundry will need to be done. Your home will need to be cleaned. Baths will need to be taken. It all makes for a fun Friday night.

You'll forget about a lot of this stuff quickly - Not looking forward to diaper cleanup, the baths, the house cleaning or the mealtime? You'll forget about all of it the second he wakes up, smiles and says "Hi daddy, hi!"