THE BLOG
06/04/2014 05:34 pm ET Updated Jul 28, 2014

A Trip to the Hotel Ballroom

A sudden calm possessed my body
And my shoulders sank down

Down
Down
Down, for all the life in me had v
-anished

My eyes glazed over, reflecting the dim lights of the hallway
But these lights had no presence
They were dying candles that only mustered enough light to flicker on and off again
But the lights would not go out

The only thing sadder than a flame dissolving is it being forced to dance forever

I looked down
Down, and smiled upon the carpeted floor.
A familiar pattern, but v
-ery tame

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My eyes darted up to a familiar sound
That struck like an ominous chord.

I was being called to crawl back inside,
back into the putrid box of lust I came out of

I looked past the closed elevator door
past the cheery banter that followed
when it opened, and past that hollow
invitation that led me into the boxcar.

Despite the mirth of the party, my
partaking in their splendor was my
saddest little number. I felt duped
as the elevator doors closed on me

Claustrophobic, sweating.
Nobody pressed a button.
We all squeezed together
And up, up, up we went

Uninvited droplets
of sweat pressed
and groped my
body. Sweat
dampened
my brow,
bitter as
the fluid
of a lighter

As I looked up,
Up to the ceiling
All I saw were fluorescent lights flickering
Which were reflected onto my shiny forehead.

No sweet paralysis would possess my body
Up
Up
And my shoulders began to dance.