THE BLOG
01/09/2015 12:43 am ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Please Stop Spitting on Me During Sex

WARNING: This post contains sexually explicit language. Please read on at your own discretion.

Please stop spitting on me during sex. It's gross, unnecessary, and totally weird. There is absolutely no need for you to spit on me while we are having intercourse, and, honestly, the spitting causes more problems than anything else. I don't know what porn you saw this in, but please stop doing it. I don't know why you find it attractive, because I certainly don't.

First of all, spitting on me is not going to provide any more lubrication than your mouth is already providing during sex. By sucking my penis or licking my anus, you are already providing a sufficient amount of moisture to facilitate the sex act. What's more, by using your mouth like a normal person during oral sex, you spread your saliva evenly over me, which is much more useful during intercourse than stray wads of lube hocked up on me. Not once have I looked at my dick during a blowjob and thought, "Wow, I am incredibly dry in this one particular spot. I hope he spits exactly there to keep me lubed up!" Half the time you try to spit on me you totally miss your target. I really don't need your spit on my futon, alarm clock, or rug. I also don't want a loogie in my chest or ass hair; you keep trying to be manly, but you missed the spittoon by a mile!

I can't stand when you spit on me while we are kissing. When we softly taste each other with our tongues, that is hot! When you grab my face and spit in my mouth, that's not! Maybe some guys enjoy the degradation of having their face spit on, but that is not me. Your spit is actually kind of gross. It's ropy and bubbly, and sometimes there is phlegm or bits of food in it. I don't need to see that.

When I dominate another man, I absolutely never spit on him. There are a lot of things that happen in porn that look hot on video but are gross unfulfilling in real life. Spitting falls under this category. The rawness of it may appeal to some, but otherwise it's completely gross. There are tons of other hotter and more agreeable acts to do to assert your power. Being dominant can involve holding someone down with exerted arm muscles, using powerful words to make them submit, or simply taking the lead in the bedroom (all consensually, of course). Spitting is the most unpoetic way to be dominant.