07/11/2013 09:52 am ET Updated Sep 10, 2013

New Chub in the City

Moving to a new city is hard for the average person but when you are everything society tells you not to be it is almost excruciating.

In my move to Chicago I am in awe of how beautiful the city is. Chicago truly is an architectural gem. The people though... winter lasts in some of their veins a little longer here. This threw me because everyone speaks to how nice the midwest is but I am beginning to think they are speaking about just their friends.

I fully believe jobs and colleges should hand new to the area employees and students a manual entitled How to Survive The City; it would include chapters such as: "Myth: The Midwest is Friendly"; "1/3 of your paycheck will go to oil"; "Diverse City; Monochromatic Neighborhood"; "Male, Female, gay, str8 prepare to become a bitch"; "Fat While Riding Publicly, Don't Have a Seat"; and "Why do I stay? Because it is F*cking Chicago!!! And the alternative... shudder."

Seriously, as a fat dark queer boy being confronted with judgemental stares (because of the way I walk, talk, the fact that I breathe) is not new, but the assault of stares I have recieved in one week here is staggering. To the point that I am starting to take pictures of those who do try to read me with their eyes and I am posting it to my twitter account (curiously, most have been white females). Digital shade honey; it's how I survive, and I want to survive this moving because I love this city; my friends are here or will possibly be moving here, and by this time next year both of my brothers will be here so I refuse to let the stares win.

Niceness is measured not by how your friends treat you (if your friends are not nice to you then you have a serious problem), but rather how they and others treat, speak to, and about strangers.

Perhaps I am asking too much. I have after all committed the cardnial American (and gay sin): I am fat while being black and gay. But then again, I too pay taxes, hustle to work, come home tired, and work on a dissertation on the weekend; so frack it, I'm having a seat.