My husband likes to go to sleep early. In analog clock terms, he calls it a day when the big hand is on the 30 and the little hand is on the nine.
That's because he knows when he's ready for bed. Me? I'm a night owl, and I spent most of my parenting years sleep-deprived. Now, with our kids off to college, much has changed -- mainly, I no longer feel the need to be in perpetual motion, or to remain awake all night while teens lurk about the house avoiding homework and reheating dinner. In fact, I've not only learned to sit still, but to give in to the call of the couch. Not the call of the bed, mind you (I'm not ready for sleep at 9:30 p.m.), but the bridge between the two. I'm referring, of course, to the Nap Before Bed.
The previous me -- the mom-on-duty me -- was committed to staying up late and getting things done, even if I stopped doing them well because I needed more sleep. That was prior to the boys leaving home. Then I found a couch of my own and experienced the miracle of the Nap Before Bed -- let's call it the NaBB. Where was the infomercial when I was younger?
Do you find yourself dragging by dinnertime? Wish you had more energy to stay up late and accomplish more? Now you can -- with the NaBB.
1. After dinner, find a comfortable spot and lay claim -- a couch, a chair, the dog's bed. Anywhere you can sleep that is not your actual bed. Rest assured, it's not the down-for-the count, deep snooze, but the dozing sleep where you can still hear the kids, the pets, and reruns of "House Hunters International" in the background
2. Set your phone's alarm for 30 minutes.
3. Start to read. If it's an actual physical book, make sure it weighs less than War and Peace.
4. When your eyelids begin to feel heavy, lay the book on your chest so you look smart while you sleep.
5. Close your eyes.
6. Surrender to the bliss of the NaBB.
That's right -- now you too can join the millions of adults who have lowered their standards and raised their level of happiness by taking the NaBB...and realized that the world did not come to an end.
Side effects may include an inner sense of peace, NaBB fantasies, NaBB addiction, and increased productivity during waking hours.
Recommended Usage: Take one before bedtime.
Disclaimer: Informal studies by mothers and middle-aged people are ongoing. Results and nap times may vary.