THE BLOG
09/04/2014 08:21 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How to Go for Your Dreams When Those Around You Don't Support You

Are you upset because your family, your partner, or your friends don't support you in your pursuit of your dreams?

Have you ever shared a great business idea or a life goal with a loved one, only to find that their response is indifference or lack of trust in your ability to succeed? They may even tell you that you are going to fail.

If you've been holding back from going after your dreams, or if you're trying to make your dreams work but are feeling defeated due to the lack of support, then this is an opportunity for you to reclaim your power.

When we listen to the voices around us, follow them and believe them, we are giving our power away to others, or even to our own fears.

We all feel fearful when we are pursuing something big in our lives. It's scary to drop what you've been doing for years and take a different path. It is scary to invest money in a project that we don't know is going to be profitable. Nothing in this life is certain (well, they say that only taxes and death are).

When we go after our dreams, we need to use every inch of our self-confidence to build a foundation of faith that will support us in the shaky times.

We need to understand that when others around us are not showing us their support, it's not because they hate us, that they're mean, or that they don't believe in us. No, it is actually the other way around. Most of the time, our friends and family don't have the trust, imagination, confidence or courage to go after their own dreams, or to believe that their own lives could be bigger and better than what they have now. So they reflect back to us their beliefs, their hardships, and their scars from past failures.

The other possibility is that they can sense the doubt that is coming from you, because you don't trust yourself enough. When they reflect your own lack of confidence back to you, you may see it as the lack of support. This is why it is so important that we own our dreams and believe in ourselves before we ask for the support of others. When we live in doubt, doubt is reflected back to us. But when we stand in confidence, trust is reflected back to us.

This is not about making others wrong so you can be right. This is about you living your best life. You owe it to yourself and you owe it to those around you (yes, even the non-believers). The best service that you can do for yourself, and everyone around you, is to live your dreams, so you can shine from within and touch others with your light.

When you believe more in the fear than in the possibility, or when you doubt yourself enough to quit pursuing your path, you're giving your power away and you're doing a disservice to your soul.

When I was 26 years old, I decided that I wanted to become a professional big wave surfer.

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This was only five years after I started surfing. My dream was to be sponsored by the clothing company Patagonia, so I could travel the world chasing big waves all year round. I was dreaming big, and those around me had their doubts in the beginning. I couldn't blame them. What I wanted to accomplish seemed crazy!

What if I drowned surfing big waves? Most professional surfers start surfing at a very young age, and I got a late start. Nothing was working to my advantage: I didn't know anyone who could open the doors of the surfing industry for me, I had a long way to go to become a big wave surfer, I had no money to pay for my trips and boards, and the people around me were telling me that I was CRA-ZY- LOCA.

But do you know what kept me going?

I had a passion pulsing in my heart that I couldn't contain anymore.

That passion marked my path and opened one door after the next. That passion helped me drop one big wave after another.

I gave it my all. I worked my ass off training daily for hours on end. I studied my sport, showed up swell after swell, returned to the lineup after mean wipeouts, long wave hold-downs, broken boards, a broken nose, stitches, bruises, and four visits to the ER in a matter of two surfing seasons. I gave it my all because I was committed to making it happen. I was committed to my dream, all the way to the end. I'd rather live my life to the fullest and die doing so, than live a tamed life that wasn't fulfilling to my soul.

Three years after I set my dream into motion, I signed a contract with Patagonia and began traveling all over the world surfing, while representing my favorite company in the world.

Do you know what happened to those around me who didn't believe in me at first?

They became my No. 1 cheerleaders. Why? Because they saw my commitment toward making my dream come true. They saw that I was not joking around, and that I was not just talking about what I wanted. They saw me doing it - over and over again, until I was living it.

By taking action, we silence all those voices around us and within us. This is not about you convincing others of your potential. This is about living your life to your full potential.

I am sharing this story with you because I know how it feels when you want something really bad, and those around you don't understand you, don't support you, or don't believe in you.

You only need one person in this world to believe in you -- yourself.

Be your biggest fan. Become your biggest supporter. Go take life by the horns. The moment is here, it's now. It's for you to make it happen. So GO!

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I'd love to read your comments! Are you ready to go for your dreams, but you're struggling with lack of support from others?