06/15/2015 04:05 pm ET Updated Jun 15, 2016

Friday Night (Mom Version)

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I remember getting ready to hit the town for some fun Friday night shenanigans back in my hay day. Now my Friday night's resemble screaming kids, laundry, dishes, dinner, and hopefully a glass of wine.

Katy Perry's got nothing on a Mom's Friday night.

There's a child in my bed.

Might be urine by my head.

Diapers all over the room.

Is that glitter, get the broom?

I smell like a barnyard.

Husband passed out on flash cards.

Barbie's naked on the floor.

What's this sticky film on the door?

Pictures of my kids.... Ended up online. I'm a Mom!

Oh Well.

It's a whacked out life.

But I signed up I'm the wife.


Last Friday night...

Yeah, we put the kids to bed.

All the screaming hurt my head.

No one slept, I should have fled.

Last Friday night.....

Yeah, we spanked all of the kids.

Hurt my foot on a sippy cup lid.

So I had a glass of wine.

Last Friday night...

Kids came streaking through the room.

Chased them with the wooden spoon.

Then I had some more wine.

Last Friday night...

Yeah I may have broke the law.

DCF no need to call.

I just tripped over a doll.

This Friday night....

Do it all again!

This Friday night

Fill my glass again!

Here's to plenty more Friday nights like this one.

Meredith is a work from home mother of three who writes about the inappropriate side of marriage and motherhood on her blog at She is also a contributor on the parenting team at, and The Huffington Post.

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