06/13/2012 11:19 am ET Updated Aug 13, 2012

Father's Day 2012: What Your Husband Really Wants for Fathers Day and Every Day

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret

I've been married to my husband for 16 years. We met during the summer of 1995 and he proposed to me in November. We got married just six weeks later. Looking back, I now realize how fortunate we both were given our short courtship.

Marriage is a funny thing and it does get better with age if you are willing to love, to be vulnerable, to be accepting and to blow off the little things because, guess what ladies, most of that stuff you get bent out of shape about really doesn't matter.

Pat and I started our family three years after getting married, which allowed us plenty of time to truly get to know one another, and I am truly grateful for that.

Men and women are different. Men fret over "what women want." They even make movies about this apparently confusing topic. But what do men want? It is, in many ways, very similar to what we ladies are always looking for.

Over the years I've discovered eight things that every husband wants in their relationship:

1. Intimacy and closeness. Men yearn for consistent physical closeness. They want hugs, kisses, pinches and, yes, sex with their partners daily. Physical touch is very important in a close loving relationship.

2. Recognition. I've found that acknowledging and appreciating my husband for the basic things that he does like cutting the grass, fixing something that's broken or jumping in for double carpool duty always makes him puff out his chest.

3. Nurturing. Husbands don't want a mother for a wife but they do want to be nurtured and cared for. They want to feel that their partners truly get them and are looking out for their best interests.

4. To Brag about their family. Men love being able to share pictures of their family with others. It makes them feel fulfilled and successful when their wife is happy, cute and their children are doing well.

5. Adoration. When he walks in the home, he wants everyone to be happy to see him.

6. Alone time in his cave. This is an important one. Men need time to think, plan, reflect and relax.

7. Dates with You. Men want to enjoy you as their girlfriend and not always as mom or as a wife.

8. A Friend. A place to fall when things go wrong and a sense that their failures and disappointments will not follow them into the home.

Father's Day is on June 17th and our guys usually get their share of ties, golf clubs, cologne and socks. But what they really want is another year that makes them feel valued and valuable to the family that they love so much and is the centerpiece of their entire life. It took me many years to understand this basic list but I can tell you that once I did love my husband in accordance to his love language, our marriage got even better than it already was.