Olivier Martinez Wears His Sunglasses at Night

03/13/2012 02:49 pm ET Updated May 13, 2012

When you arrive on the red carpet in the role of a reporter you never know exactly what's going to go down. It's either totally marvelous or a complete and utter disaster. In the case of Olivier Martinez at the opening of his new restaurant Villa Azur in Miami Beach, it was somewhere in the middle -- not because of any technical details, but rather that everything Halle Berry was off-limits. I mean seriously, didn't they know why I was really there?!?

Nonetheless, the opening of his latest juncture went off without a hitch. Pulling up in a vamped up Bentley, Mr. Martinez, as event publicist Julie Fogel referred to him, arrived wearing his sunglasses at night. I thought he must have been hanging out at a Michelle Pooch club party the night before, but he hadn't. He was sleeping on the plane and was completely unaware about my first question. Did he know Paris is burning? No, not as in one of my favorite drag culture documentaries, but as in the Ritz hotel, in Paris, that was literally on fire. He seemed genuinely concerned but, hey, he was in "Miami Bitch" and in this self-contained epicenter of self-indulgence, Mr. Martinez was riding the high.

Since that icebreaker failed me, I figured I should ask something about related to why we were all there in the first place. "What's your favorite dish?" I asked because I definitely want to eat whatever he's eating. "I don't know," he said. "I'm just excited to eat everything aren't you?!" Um, but wait, don't you own this joint?

But he did have a good reason why he was opening a restaurant in Miami. "I have a lot of friends here." Okay, I'll take that. At least I know there will always be a scene and there was. I haven't seen such a chic crowd in a long time. We're talking Lanvin and YSL for days, honey.

I was quickly getting bored so I indulged myself. "So was the sex scene in the restaurant, where you banged Diane Lane in the bathroom, or the one in the loft that was your favorite?" I asked referring to his American breakthrough role in Unfaithful.

Again! Avoidance! "The movie had a great cast, great directors and it was a great experience. Make your favorite scene whatever you want it to be." What?!? I mean give me something. There was no way I was leaving empty-handed.

"So, will you be spending more time in the United States or Paris," I asked
Mr. Martinez, who I swear looks a lot like Tom Cruise (especially with those sunglasses on, but with a French accent.) He then talked about all the work he has coming up in Paris and different movies he'll be filming because after all "I have to remind everyone I'm an actor."

With that answer I can only derive, with consideration put forward that he and H.B. are reportedly engaged, that France is where Hollywood's secretive little couple may be spending the next few months.

And it will only be a short time before I open the pages of US Weekly with a headline that reads "Hot Beach Mommas!" and there will be a smiling Halle Berry frolicking on the Cote D'Azur.

As this event winded down, I bounced onto my next invite at Baoli where the house of Remy Martin was holding a grand event introducing their first clear spirit, Remy V. There, my friends and I gossiped about how hot or not Mr. Martinez is, but it was a unanimous vote that Halle Berry should have showed up to the opening of the restaurant. Then again, she's already had a taste of Mr. Martinez.