05/29/2015 03:03 pm ET Updated May 29, 2016

One Powerful, Easy Way to Change the Quality of Your Life

Tatjana Kruusma via Getty Images

Do you ever feel you have nothing good to say about anyone or anything?

That your thoughts are always too critical, too judgmental and too irritated about people and things?

The steady, negative state of mind is killing your happiness and ruining the quality of your life.

Here's what to do about it.

Make a choice to change and upgrade the thoughts that dominate your life and see what happens.

You have two options

1. Live with: kindness, respect, positivity, goodness, happiness, compassion, love...


2. Live with: meanness, negativity, misery, revenge, anger, ill-will...

It's that clear. That simple of a choice. Do the work to change because the results are worth it.

American author, poet and philosopher Henry David Thoreau expressed it this way:

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.

Heaven or hell state of mind

"He's a jerk... she's always so thoughtful... why can't he figure it out for himself... what does she want now... he takes good care of himself... I love helping people... she wears the same outfit every time she goes out... life sucks and I'll never get anywhere no matter how hard I try... I'm such a fortunate person."

See what I mean? Every minute we're judging and labeling something. Choosing and shuttling back and forth between -- love or hate - anger or gratitude - happiness or resentment? What effect does your preference have on you?

Certainly some of your thoughts are true and you should stick to them 100 percent but I'm encouraging you to go deeper into yourself and consciously be aware of the choices you make and... what your thoughts actually do to you. Do they make you strong and happy or weak and sad? What feels good and what feels worse?

Right now start watching your thoughts and actions. See what runs you.

- What do you like?

- What do you hate?

- How much do you complain?

- How do you treat people?

- Are you kind or thoughtless?

- What is your state of mind?

- What is in your heart?

You're way too good at the wrong things

For years I prided myself in my ability to tear people down rather than looking for the good. I felt powerful finding flaws, making fun and figuring out ways to get back at someone.

The pleasure I got out of scorning people was narrow and contemptuous -- the wrong kind of pleasure -- and over time my meanness ended up making me a very cold person. When the time came to have real feeling for people, to be honestly helpful and kind I felt practically nothing.

The destructive thought choices I made spoiled most of my genuine, good feelings -- the natural sweetness of heart and love we are all born with for other people and things.

I didn't like myself for being this way and that is why I started to change and make new choices about how I treated people. I wanted to feel good!

I started to watch myself like a hawk. Checking my thoughts and actions and consciously choosing to have a good effect on people -- to actively be kind.

I knew things started to change when simple thoughtful gestures just naturally happened. Sincerely smiling at someone or thinking about doing something nice for a friend for no special reason. I began to feel good about myself; feeling free, warm and relaxed, not angry and hard.

I learned that the thoughts we put out into the world make us who we are. If we broadcast negativity we attract it right back like a magnet. If we appreciate and give then kindness and love comes our way.

Here's your assignment

Take every negative thought you have and match it with an alternative positive thought.

Instantly focus and reframe it. Change it. Turn it around

Watch what happens. See if you feel better about yourself and the world.

• When you promote goodness you promote your own total well-being.

• When you step away from being pessimistic you gain positive feelings, new peace and hope.

• When you start liking things you move away from needless suffering and bitterness into greater joy and happiness.

Practice and put it into place. Let go of what disturbs you. Overtime the change will happen.

It's like quenching your thirst. Feeding your hunger. Getting a long and restful sleep.

The quality of your thoughts creates the quality of your life.

Choose to honor life -- not to disparage it. It's the deepest and most natural and pleasurable thing in you. It's who you truly are and you owe it to yourself and others to live life fully with goodness and generosity.

Go for it! You can have real and lasting happiness.