07/22/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Iran and Washington: Steal An Election? Who Ever Heard Of Such A Thing?

Most of us agree that the United States was "born" on July 4th 1776, so we say that we are under the sign of Cancer in America. The Islamic republic of Iran, however, came into being in April of 1979 -- and that's Aries. Astrologically, the D.C. Pisces charts fall in the solar twelfth house of Iran, and because of it, Iran is undergoing a tremendous upheaval that is not likely to end any time soon, and Washington is involved. Enormous volcanic change is coming to that sign, and at this time we are seeing only the first plume of smoke and lava to appear. Washington D.C. is a Pisces, "born on March 15th", 1791, and what a perfect example of Pisces it is: an abstract collection of random patterns that simply screams chaos theory.

For the next two and a half years, the planet Uranus will be coming to the end of this great sign, so we can all prepare for more uncertainty, chaos and wobble between hope and despair. The relationship between Aries and Pisces is fascinating, mainly because Pisces depends to some degree on Aries for financial stability, and at the same time its position along the Zodiac actually does drive Aries crazy. This is exactly where the Piscean effect always brings all Aries down, whether you are just a regular person working at Home Depot in Queens, New York or you happen to be the Fundamentalist Islamic Republic. The result is the same. Trying to interpret the signs goes way beyond canon, scripture or fundamentalist dogma. Its is about personal conscience, faith and self-sacrifice, all of which are always open to subjective interpretation.

Despite the sword waving and macho bravura, Iran is actually afraid of Washington and all the people in it. In the heads of Iranian leaders, do they allow themselves to be insulted or mistreated, or do they throw themselves on a bomb in protest? Or is it all in their heads? The current transit of Uranus over the Sun and Mars of Washington D.C. is driving Iran insane with this dilemma. Their out-of-control inflammatory rhetoric comes as much from fear of the west as it does from religious conviction.

A spiritual guru might tell Iran that the solution to such paranoia is to do a 180 degree turn in philosophy and completely treat Washington not as an enemy but with compassion, taking the position that the people in Washington are sick and worthy of love and charity. That does not seem to be the current philosophy over there, however, and it is therefore likely that the attack they dread could happen when Uranus goes forward this fall , or may already in fact be happening.

By the way, they're right. Iran isn't imagining it at all. The Uranus transit is rendering the American capital capable of the most outrageous behavior. That's the funny thing about paranoia. It's so often right. On the other hand, Iran is Aries, and above all, it fears submissiveness. It's too female. Perish the thought. So in the light of the inevitability of this planetary configuration, who, if anyone, has messed with this election?

Did Ahmadinejad steal it? Goodness, who ever heard of someone stealing an election in a democracy that allows free assembly, free speech and voting privileges for its citizens? Why, the very idea is preposterous, ridiculous, unheard of, unthinkable. Whatever the deal is over there, the current upheaval came from a combination of honest political unrest and anger at the social repression that has been the earmark of the Republic for so many years, and also, from the astrological point of view, there has been behind the scenes manipulation and secret machinations tampering with people's actions, spurring them on to revolution, in an attempt to dismantle the current regime. Whodunnit?

There's a lot we will never know. One thing we should say, however, is that Ahmadinejad doesn't care who did it. He is a Scorpio with Capricorn Rising, and believe this, with Pluto just entering his rising Sign, don't think for one minute he's going to back down and leave the stage smiling. Whether you think he's Allah's gift to humanity, put here on Earth to revive a lethargic Muslim nation, or just some freaky twerp to be neutralized efficiently as if he were an annoying but dangerous Anopheles mosquito who won't quit buzzing your ear until you spray it with off and finally get some sleep. He knows he needs America if he wants to eat, but with Pluto now in Capricorn, he's not giving in.