01/24/2013 05:58 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

The Flu Bucket List

The flu was discovered by Norman Invaders during the twilight years of their Counting Reformation. Like a game of telephone, these Normans (Norm!) passed the finding from ear to ear until all were infected, much like the much-maligned Dancing Plague of 1518. As you can imagine, the disease went viral and spread across generations. Its influence lead to terms like "influenza," "the Norm" and Gadsden's flagged expression "Don't breathe on me." Today the radio reports that a devastating number of the infected are stumbling around on the streets. To avoid these nauseous masses please stay at home, barricaded and quarantined with your souvenir Nyquil drip.

And what will you do while you huddle together under your possibly infected covers? Well, do we have the answer(s) for you! These five dregs offer great suggestions for hobbies to pick up while you futilely struggle to avoid the flu.

Take up fishing:

Make a new instrument:

Do karaoke:

Sing show tunes:

Conspiracy theorize: