02/04/2013 07:28 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

On Wormholes

The world we live in is often a boring place your parents made you hang out with even though they didn't even ask you but just invited it over. To escape this excruciating task of spending time with reality, we turn to dregs. Many dregs are portals to alternate universes, where, like in the best science fiction, only one small change to our world produces a new and exciting frontier. For example, what if all blockbuster movies were, instead of being funded by Hollywood, written and acted by small children?

What if all rappers were grandpas?

What if the normal medium of the question-and-response joke was short film?

What if you ACTUALLY got to go to space camp, like mom always promised?

What if this was an entire Lady Gaga single?

These worlds are all more wondrous than ours and with the Internet, you can spend a few minutes inside them. But no more! In the end, we must learn to live outside of dregs so we can more fully appreciate the time we spend inside them.