02/07/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Tips for Divorced Dating Divas

I decided to start out my new year with a blog that reflects my how I want to focus my energy this year: light and fun! Oh, and I have set an intention to get out of my hyper-focused haze of 2008 and date more!

After 15 years of juggling single momness with career, other well known challenges as penned in my book, Held Hostage, and a bit of dating here and there, I sure hope I have learned a thing or two along the way. At 43 one thing I have discovered for sure is that being alone, and even learning to enjoy it, is far better than being with Mr. Not So Wonderful. No settling ladies!! But that isn't one of my tips.

I was recently asked what tips I would give other divorced moms venturing out into the dating world. So...being the dating diva that I am...haha..I came up with my personal top five tips to date by:

1) Never let a date pick you up at your home. Keep space that you share with your children sacred and safe. Once you exit dating and enter a "relationship" (minimum of 6 months of exclusivity required) you can think about giving out your address and discussing it with the kids.

2) Best accessory that goes with any outfit? Self-confidence!

3) Know that what Rumi said is true: the day you start loving yourself is the day you begin a lifelong romance. Take time to get to know and love YOU first before jumping into the dating fast lane.

4) Five words to help you set healthy boundaries: That Doesn't Work For Me. Say it loud and proud!

5) Embrace your sexy goddess! Buy lingerie and other fun and sexy things for YOU not him.

So, if you are starting out your new year with a new dating plan, include these five tips to help you stay safe, have fun, set healthy boundaries and of course... love yourself first!