08/24/2012 03:30 pm ET Updated Oct 23, 2012

Congressman Todd Akin: "Don't Know Much Biology (Or Crimes of Violence)" -- The Remix

There once was a Congressman, Akin
Caused a maelstorm, yet he is unshaken
This huge conflagration
Engulfing the nation
Has the GOP in its boots quakin'

"Legitimate rape," he opined
(Does this man have a functioning mind?!)
Won't lead to conception
If it does, no exception!!
With pro-life he's steadfastly aligned

His statements went beyond the pale
Imagine what he has yet to unveil
His views are abhorrent
He's stuck in this torrent
The right hopes that he will soon bail

He told Huckabee that he "misspoke"
No apology could Mike provoke
Said he's done nothing "wrong"
(Where have we heard this song?)
Alas, it's all mirrors and smoke

Support from his brethren is waning
(You won't hear McCaskill complaining)
"#stillstanding," he tweeted
He hasn't retreated
A mea culpa he's not bothered feigning

To win he will need a Hail Mary
At this point his chances seem nary
His ignorance: Blatant
His contempt: Plainly patent
Such extremism is, simply, scary

Repubs rebuked him (see, e.g., Scott Brown)
Mitt et al now want him out of town
If Akin suffers defeat
They'll lose a pivotal seat
Shame Todd can't just shut this whole thing down!