01/12/2011 05:03 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

No More DeLay: A (Lone) Star Has Fallen

There once was a man named DeLay
Seems now it is his time to pay
He played dirty ball
(Please listen up y'all)
And now he is going away

The judge sentenced him to three years
(What he did was real wrong, it appears)
Said he was "perplexed"
(Sorry, Tom, if you're vexed)
From Boehner there'll no doubt be tears

A conspiracy born in '02
(His redistricting plan was a coup)
The ol' boys found a way
Laundered 200K
Alas, things went slightly askew

He sent money to the RNC
For House candidates of GOP
Now he won't show remorse
Blamed the Dems (but of course):
Persecution is what this must be!!

"A miscarriage of justice!" he cried
"Innocent!!" he predictably lied
"I have played by the rules"
(He must think us all fools)
By the law even he must abide

His lawyer said they will appeal
(Perhaps throw some work to Mike Steele)
They'll be swimming upstream
Defending that scheme
Bet they wish now that they'd made a deal

As for the fate of the Hammer
He may have some fun in the slammer
Could lead the big house
And find a new "spouse"
His voice gone from the harsh Beltway clamor!!