THE BLOG
03/28/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

What Chris Brown Was Thinking

If Chris Brown is anything like most batterers, his thought pattern went something like this: "I told her not to do it. She knew what would happen if she did. She did it. What choice did I have?"

She knew what was coming. She deserved it.

If Brown's anything like the 40% to 70% of batterers who were themselves beaten as children or witnessed physical violence as a way to keep people in line, he doesn't even understand that he did something wrong.

That's how we solved problems where I come from.


If he's anything like most batterers,
Brown did what he did to exert control. Is he not the man in the relationship? The one who sets the rules? The one who enforces them? And what does a man do when the woman he loves won't follow the rules? He takes the law into his own hands.

She broke the rules. She has to pay.

Maybe Rihanna didn't "break a rule" or "cross a line." Maybe she simply wouldn't listen, let alone agree, to a rule he wanted to set.

That'll get her attention.

If Brown is like most batterers, he needed to show Rihanna who's boss, because there can only be one person calling the shots.

I had to take control.

If he's anything like most batterers, Brown figured that physical violence or the threat of it would frighten Rihanna into doing what he wanted.

She'll think twice before she crosses me again.

And if he's anything like Ike Turner, Chris Brown probably diminished what he did by saying it wasn't that bad. In his 2001 autobiography Ike Turner wrote: "Sure, I've slapped Tina ... There have been times when I punched her to the ground without thinking. But I never beat her."

Rihanna, Tina and millions of women. They all "deserved it."

Click here to see "The Wheel of Violence," which shows how abuse starts with put-downs, leads to threats and ends with emergency calls to the police.

If you or someone you love is in a violent relationship call the National toll-free Domestic Violence hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or go to their website. http://www.ncdsv.org