02/21/2013 08:15 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

'Snitch': Is The Rock's New Movie Better Than It Ever Needed To Be? (And 24 Other Urgent Questions)

snitch review

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (Get Smart) is back in theaters with Snitch, a new thriller out Feb. 22. In the film, Johnson plays John, a father who will do anything to get his teenage son out of jail. Is Snitch surprisingly better than it ever needed to be? As a service to you, we answer every question that you could possibly have about Snitch.

Q: Does Dwayne Johnson play a character by the name of "Johnny Snitch"?

A: No, Johnson plays John Matthews, the owner of a successful construction business.

Q: Does John happen to say things like, "I've been rolling the dice my whole life?"

A: Yes.

Q: So who is the snitch in Snitch?

A: Technically, John Matthews is the snitch. He strikes a highly unusual deal with a prosecutor (Susan Sarandon) after his son, Jason Collins (Rafi Gavron), is arrested for drug distribution.

Q: Why do John and Jason have different last names?

A: A terrible divorce is involved and Jason took his mother's maiden name.

Q: Is Jason guilty?

A: Well, kind of -- but not of distribution. Snitch opens with Jason's friend begging him over video chat to hold onto a package of MDMA for one day. (The friend is preparing to travel by plane, making banned substances somewhat of an issue for him.) From what we're shown, Jason never really agrees to help, but the package shows up and Jason is arrested.

Q: How much trouble is Jason in?

A: Apparently the minimum sentence for being caught with that much MDMA is 10 years in prison.

Q: What's the first lesson that you learned from Snitch?

A: That, if you have an enemy, just mail some drugs to his or her house and tip off the authorities that drugs were mailed to that person's house. That person will now go to jail for 10 years.

Q: Can Jason agree to work with the police in exchange for a lighter sentence?

A: Jason is offered a plea bargain in exchange for turning in his suppliers. Unfortunately for Jason, he only knows his friend who sent the package and that friend is already in custody.

Q: What is the unusual deal that John Matthews strikes with the prosecutor?

A: Well, since Jason has nothing to offer, John somehow convinces the prosecutor that he will become an undercover informer in exchange for Jason's sentence being reduced.

Q: An informer? Has John not heard the warnings that were so eloquently presented in Snow's song about being an informer?

A: Apparently, John has not listened to much Snow lately.

Q: OK, so John tries to infiltrate the group that gave his son the MDMA?

A: Nope. Through the help of an ex-con employee (Jon Bernthal), John just picks one group at random, really. Yes, this is preposterous.

Q: Can you make a bad analogy?

A: Sure. This would be like you getting arrested for murder, but then being promised release if your dad can bring in a worse, actual murderer. Any murderer will do, as long as it's a worse one.

Q: How does John infiltrate the gang of drug dealers?

A: He offers to transport their product using the trucks he owns for his construction business.

Q: Does everything go smoothly with this plan?

A: Surprisingly, yes. Until the original drug dealers John got involved with want to set up a meeting between John and some high-ranking members of a Mexican cartel. Once the feds hear this (led by Barry Pepper), the plan changes because that would be a bigger capture.

Q: What's the second lesson that you learned from Snitch?

A: That Robert Patrick better watch his back if he wants to keep his "guy who plays the grizzled authority figure" crown, because Barry Pepper is coming.

Q: Where does Snitch take place?

A: Jefferson City, MO. (But filmed in Shreveport, LA.)

Q: Is there anything remarkable about Jefferson City, MO?

A: It's the capital of Missouri and was also mentioned in Lincoln, so it seems to be having quite the theatrical moment as of late. Having attended college 30 miles from Jefferson City, however, I can say with at least some authority that Jefferson City hasn't seen half of the action that it does in Snitch.

Q: Is Snitch wall-to-wall action?

A: Strangely, no. (Yet my above description of Jefferson City will still apply.) This was a pleasant surprise.

Q: Will I like Snitch?

A: Put it this way: It's a lot better than it ever needed to be.

Q: Is Snitch the best of the action-movie genre movies to be released so far in 2013?

A: Yes. By far.

Q: What's the best thing about Snitch?

A: Well, Dwayne Johnson, for one. That guy is just the epitome of charm. In other words, this could be a terrible, terrible movie if it starred a run-of-the-mill action star. But, Johnson is just so charming (there's that word again), I couldn't help but think, I really hope this nice man gets his son back. This is the kind of role that Mel Gibson used to do well.

Q: If you had to guess "yes" or "no" and your life depended on getting the answer correct, what would your answer be to the question, "Will The Rock be nominated for an Oscar sometime in the next 15 years?"

A: My answer would be, "What kind of demented soul would attach a human being's life to such a trivial question?" And, "I refuse to play such a twisted game."

Q: Your life doesn't depend on the answer, but what would the answer be to the question, "Will The Rock be nominated for an Oscar sometime in the next 15 years?"

A: Make it 20 years and I will say that it's at least in the realm of possibility.

Q: What's the single most ridiculous thing to happen in Snitch?

A: See, that's the thing. Other than the fact that John is out there infiltrating a drug gang in the first place, Snitch goes with the "less is more" philosophy. We don't even see The Rock fire a gun until the last 15 minutes of the movie, and even then it's a shotgun fired almost blindly in self-defense.

Q: For Silver Linings Playbook you were blurbed in a New York Times ad having stated the absolutely riveting fact that "Robert De Niro hasn't won an Oscar in 32 years." Can you give an equally mind-blowing fact-blurb for Snitch?

robert de niro

A: "Dwayne Johnson also wrestles." Mike Ryan - The Huffington Post

Mike Ryan is senior writer for Huffington Post Entertainment. You can contact him directly on Twitter.

This story appears in Issue 38 of our weekly iPad magazine, Huffington, in the iTunes App store, available Friday, March 1.