10/01/2013 10:49 am ET Updated Dec 01, 2013

Why I Feel Bad for Miley Cyrus. Seriously.

It's safe to say that we all saw Miley Cyrus' controversial VMA performance, as well as the millions of critical tweets. It was over a month ago and we're STILL tweeting about it.

One of the most popular memes compared Miley's rear end to an uncooked chicken. And when you saw it, you TOTALLY laughed.


Because it made you feel better that your body is way better than hers?

Because you were relieved that you are not the only person with a booty that resembles poultry?

Because she's Miley Cyrus -- she's young, talented, and rich... and a chicken-shaped rump levels out the playing field a little. Oh come on, she can handle it! She's a celebrity!
OK, maybe she can.

Maybe she is used to it and these very pointed comments about her body didn't affect her at all. But what about her millions of fans who are mainly girls between the ages of 15 and 23? Most of them are regular kids -- who don't have fame, stupid amounts of money, the right clothes, a personal trainer and dietician or the knowledge that it takes work to get celebrities to look "perfect." How are those comments about Miley effecting the way they see their own bodies?

Chances are, if you are a girl who grew up in Los Angeles (or anywhere, really) you have probably dealt with self-esteem issues at one time or another. And it sucked. So, why are we (as grown women!) perpetuating this?

According to, one third of teens reported being bullied at school and most of them are girls. reports that 34 percent of children are bullied because of their weight and after puberty, 5-10 million girls and women are struggling with eating disorders including anorexia, bulimia, binging or borderline conditions. We may get a little smarter about our health as we grow up, but the fear and the scars of bullying are always there. And as a result, it seems we continue to "bully" other women through our words -- either directly or indirectly.

For example: you break up with your boyfriend and a year later, you find out he is dating someone you know. "Ugh. Yeah, he's totally dating that ugly b**** with the big nose and the really loud, annoying laugh," you yammer on to all your friends and anyone who will listen. It's not a pretty sight, but chances are, they'll probably join in to make you feel better. It might even get back to your ex's new girl and cause her some very unnecessary pain about these insignificant things about her looks that she's always hated and can't change.

NEWSFLASH: It's not this woman's fault that it didn't work out between you and your man. And talking smack about her says way more about the kind of person you are than anything you could possibly say about her. Besides, deep down, everyone knows that you're just saying those things because you're hurt and scared that maybe this girl is 'better' than you. You're just insecure... and THIS all sounds like something your mother should have told you in junior high.

Come on, we're grown-ups now. We live in the age of digital media -- where anyone can say anything behind a computer and it is blasted out to the whole world. Time to be emotionally smart and realize that our words have a rippling effect -- sometimes for people we don't even know. We want the younger generation to have a better body image than we all did. Let's be an example. Let's be kind.