09/24/2013 03:56 pm ET Updated Nov 24, 2013




Setting: Family bathroom, now.

The half-dressed DAUGHTER examines herself in a large mirror.

DAUGHTER: Oh my God!

The MOTHER knocks once on the bathroom door, then quickly opens it. The DAUGHTER stands in front of a big mirror, towel clutched around her chest.

MOTHER: What's wrong?

DAUGHTER: It's my boob.

MOTHER: Oh no. Is it a lump?

DAUGHTER: No. It's a hair.

MOTHER: A hair?

DAUGHTER: I found a hair on my left boob.

MOTHER: Oh that. You'll get used to it.

DAUGHTER: No, I won't. I thought the three hairs on my chin were bad enough.

MOTHER: Honey, you're middle aged now. It's all part of the aging process.

DAUGHTER: It's hair, a long hair coming out of my left boob.

MOTHER: Get dressed. We're going to be late.

DAUGHTER: I don't feel like going.

MOTHER: Don't be dramatic. It's just menopause.

DAUGHTER: Just menopause?

MOTHER: A few hairs here and there.

DAUGHTER: What's next? I guess I'll wake up with a penis tomorrow.

MOTHER: What do you expect me to say?

The DAUGHTER stares daggers.

DAUGHTER: Thanks for the comforting words, Mom.

MOTHER: Be grateful you found a black hair. Wait until a white comes out of your nipple.

Smiling, the MOTHER exits. The DAUGHTER searches for tweezers.