Cast: American One, American Two, and Stuffing
Setting: Anywhere and everywhere in America
AMERICAN ONE, AMERICAN TWO, and STUFFING, anywhere and everywhere in America.
AMERICAN ONE: Christmas is starting earlier and earlier. Pretty soon we're going to have one big Holiday Season.
AMERICAN TWO: Looks that way.
AMERICAN ONE: These stores and malls. They don't even care about people sitting down with their families on Thanksgiving.
AMERICAN TWO: Since when did corporations care?
AMERICAN ONE: Since the Supreme Court said that they're people.
AMERICAN TWO: No one is making people shop.
AMERICAN ONE: That's true. You won't get an argument from me.
STUFFING: Me either.
AMERICAN ONE: Just think about those poor salespeople at work in the middle of the night.
AMERICAN TWO: Just think about indigenous people: beaten, raped, massacred, starved, murdered, libeled, and tossed aside for centuries.
AMERICAN ONE: It's not like that for me.
STUFFING: You have your own national holiday?
AMERICAN ONE: I don't like crass commercialism. It doesn't have to be like this.
AMERICAN TWO: But the shopping rush and 24 hour buying frenzy is more honest than people sitting down and gorging themselves on denial and and myths.
STUFFING: And me.
AMERICAN ONE: Thanksgiving's not like that, not anymore.
STUFFING: It is.
AMERICAN ONE: That's not what I think when I sit down with my family. We talk about what we're thankful for. Don't you think Thanksgiving has been turned into an American family holiday?
AMERICAN TWO: Neither do I.
AMERICAN ONE: It's a secular American holiday.
STUFFING: So when you give thanks, whom are you thanking?
AMERICA ONE: Now you're formal?
STUFFING: Grammar always counts.
AMERICAN ONE: We're making progress. At least we're starting to acknowledge what was done to Native Americans.
AMERICAN TWO: And that's why we still have a professional football team named the 'Redskins.'
STUFFING: Don't forget reservations. We have so many reservations.
AMERICAN TWO: Indeed!
AMERICAN ONE: I think you're both cynical.
AMERICAN TWO: I think we're both honest.
STUFFING: I think you're both naïve.
AMERICAN ONE: You're not celebrating Thanksgiving this year?
AMERICAN TWO: Probably not.
STUFFING: Pass me along, and risk karmic indigestion.
The End and The End and The End and The End and The End and The End...