04/16/2015 11:12 am ET Updated Jun 16, 2015

Dreams of Finding Love Can Come True


We have all imagined Prince or Princess Charming stepping into our lives and sweeping us off of our feet. Passionate romance then ensues and the future is filled with happily ever afters. The recently released movie, Cinderella, has singles across the country dreaming of a suitor slipping the appropriately sized glass slipper upon their foot.

The film does have fairytale elements, but along with the magic of fairy godmothers and pumpkins turning into coaches comes some real wisdom. Important lessons abound, conveying truths about what really matters in life and love. The synergy of two people's hearts and souls is what makes happiness possible. The characters in Cinderella play out the fabled story from our youth, all the while imparting meaning as to how our awareness and conduct affects us as we head down the road towards amorous bliss.

1. Have courage. We all need to be open minded about the "must haves" in our relationships. Benchmarks are important, but where exactly do they come from? Are they self generated? Have they been drilled into us by our parents and peers indicating what the "right" package is, or has life experience produced our wants and needs list? It is your voice that will be the guide in the pursuit of a future soulmate. 

2. Let Go. Be willing to let go of baggage. All of us carry the nicks and bruises that have been sustained as we go through life. In order to make oneself amenable to receiving the love of a new person, it is necessary to forgive any pain experienced in the past, thus opening up our hearts once again.

I am not suggesting that it is possible to completely reboot like our electronica. Loves from days gone by have to be accepted for who they were and the roles that they played. Be realistic about past lovers, and don't let their legacy maintain too prominent a place in your thoughts. They ought to be filed into the background, so that there are no shadows looming large over future prospects.

3. Be Kind. Of all the attributes that can describe a person, how many times have we actually used the adjective "kind" to sum up the one that we are with, or pursuing? Words such as "funny", "friendly", "outgoing", "attractive" are often used in characterizing potential mates. All of these traits are favorable, but do they speak to the heart of the individual? Kindness is one of the most important qualities that can be possessed. This is the fundamental characteristic that gives value to a person's nature. 

4. Be Humble. No need to brag or be attracted to someone who carries on about all of their accomplishments. The prince in Cinderella described himself as an apprentice, learning a trade. Knowing who you are and being confident in yourself should be enough to win someone's heart. If others need to go on at length about their wonderfulness in order to gain attention, my suggestion is, run, don't walk. It is possible to be successful, both professionally and personally without any accompanying bravado. 

5. Have integrity. Maintain a path of following through on what is right even if popular culture does not emphasis these values. Your moral compass is the most important characteristic that will speak to who you really are. Stand your ground on what is worth fighting for. The simplicity of adhering to the Golden Rule, doing to others as you would want them to do back in kind, is what will make you appealing to those you desire to attract. 

6. What truly matters. Presents are fun to receive, but what truly matters are the expressions from the heart. Jewelry and clothing can bring momentary excitement, but do they have any worth? Those who are only interested in receiving their partner's worldly possessions as a token of love and affection ultimately will end up with a handful of shiny objects. The question is: Will that be enough? Shared morals and values are the foundation of a successful relationship. When looking for a life mate make sure to seek out someone who focuses on the same priorities as you.  

7. Marry for love. As time goes by, we will all gain weight, lose hair, have what remains go gray and wrinkle and slouch. Some years will be better than others. The kids will ultimately leave the nest and in the end it will be just the two of you walking down life's road together. The bond of love is what will keep you wanting to be arm in arm in life's journey as you smile at the memories gathered along the way. Believe in what the poets tell us: Only true love is eternal.