08/24/2012 12:55 pm ET Updated Oct 24, 2012

Painful Memories Don't Have to Be Painful

Do you have memories that recur from time to time that are painful? Are there events from the past that upset you every time you recall them? Events such as breaking up after a long-term love affair, or getting fired from a job, or not getting something you had expected to get.

If so, I have some good news for you. I am going to show you how you can quickly and easily dissolve the meaning you gave those "painful" events so that you will be able to recall them without the sadness, fear or anger that usually accompanies them.

Dissolve the meaning and the emotion also will disappear

If you are reading this you probably have eliminated at least one belief using the Lefkoe Belief Process and have experienced that events have no inherent meaning.

All meaning resides in our mind, not in events. Meaningless events usually can't produce emotions. Consequently, most of our emotions arise from the meaning we assign events. So if you dissolve the meaning you give events, the emotions automatically will dissolve also.

I have been teaching people how to use the Lefkoe Occurring Process (LOP) to dissolve how daily events occur to them -- in other words, the meaning they give them -- in my Occurring Courses for the past few years.

In the last course one of the participants said that he had been able to use the LOP to dissolve the meaning he had given an event in his past. I had never thought of using the LOP that way. He reported that when he did that, both the meaning and the painful emotion that had accompanied that event dissolved and never returned. So the next time he had that memory, all he recalled was the event itself -- without the meaning and the emotion.

Here's how you can do that, too:

Here are four simple steps.

Step 1: Recall the specifics of the event, exactly what happened.

Step 2: Make a clear distinction between the event, the meaning you gave it, and the emotion that resulted from the meaning. Here's one example from a client today. Event: When I was a child I fell when playing and broke a tooth. Meaning: When I tell my mom she will be upset and there will be chaos in the house as a result of what I did. Emotion: Anxiety.

Step 3: In order to help you clearly get that the meaning is not inherent in the event, ask yourself if you can "see" the meaning in the world. When you realize you can actually see the event but you can't see the meaning (because it is only in your mind), you will have made a clear distinction between the event and the meaning, and the meaning will dissolve.

Step 4: Recall the earlier event. Notice that you no longer experience the meaning and the emotion that used to be attached to the event. When I asked the client to recall the earlier memory of breaking her tooth, she said that the anxiety she had always felt when she had the memory was gone.

This is a simple process that takes only a few minutes to complete, but it can make a profound difference in your moment-to-moment experience of life. Imagine feeling calm as you relive old events that used to be accompanied by painful emotions.

Share your experience

As an optional step five, please share your experience of doing this simple process in the "Leave a Comment" box below. I would love to hear about your successes and others will be inspired to try this process if they read about your experience.

Morty Lefkoe is the creator of The Lefkoe Method, a system for permanently eliminating limiting beliefs. For more information go to

copyright ©2012 Morty Lefkoe

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