09/18/2013 03:48 pm ET Updated Nov 17, 2013

How to Stop Suffering

A few months ago I delivered a TEDx talk in Hoboken. TEDx is the local version of the TED talks that are given annually in Long Beach, Calif. and that feature some of the most interesting people in the world talking about "ideas worth spreading." You can find a video recoding of my talk at

So it was a real honor to be invited to present at a TEDx event. I talked about suffering -- how suffering is the result of the negative emotions we feel all day long, which in turn come from the meaning we unconsciously and automatically give to meaningless events. And how it is possible to quickly and easily dissolve that meaning... and stop your suffering.

I urge you to view the entire talk. If you do what I suggest, it could profoundly change your life.

Highlights from my TEDx presentation

Here are some of the highlights from my presentation:

Suffering is not inevitable. The Buddha recognized that it is not our pain that causes our suffering. It is the meaning we attribute to the pain that causes our suffering. Meanings like: I can't do that. My boss will be upset. They'll laugh at me. She's angry with me. I screwed up again. Sound familiar?

What if it were possible for us to stop giving meanings like these to events, thereby stopping our emotional suffering?

You don't have to imagine it. There actually is a way to quickly and easily dissolve the meaning we unconsciously and automatically give events all day long. And before I'm finished today you all will have learned how to do it. (In the middle of the talk I actually taught them how to dissolve meaning.)

Here's how to dissolve meaning

But knowing how to dissolve meaning is useless if you don't do it. So here's what to do. Whenever you notice a negative emotion of any kind, ask yourself what happened just prior to the emotion and what is the meaning you gave that event that caused the emotion. Then make a clear distinction between the event and the meaning you gave it. That's it. As soon as you get that the meaning is not part of the event, that it is only in your mind, it will dissolve. And as soon as it dissolves, any negative emotions it had caused will disappear instantaneously. And when the emotions disappear, your suffering stops.

I've discovered something fascinating after teaching hundreds of people how to do this exercise: If you set an alarm 14 times a day, for 10 weeks -- about 1,000 times -- and you dissolve whatever meaning you discover every time your alarm rings, you get to the point where you automatically dissolve the meaning you've given to events.

And remember: When you dissolve your meaning, you stop your suffering.

We all can experience real, deep inner peace -- in just a few weeks -- if we learn to dissolve meaning automatically. Despite what many people think, daily suffering is not a part of human nature.

What would life be like if people stopped giving meaning?

Can you even imagine what your life and the life of everyone else on this planet would be like without negative emotions -- without suffering -- every day? If we stopped giving meaning, no one would ever experience himself as a victim. If we stopped giving meaning, no one would ever feel anxious when things didn't turn out the way she wanted them to. If we stopped giving meaning, no one would ever get upset by his circumstances.

Dissolve your meaning, stop your suffering.

I learned how to dissolve meaning a few years ago and it stopped my suffering. Then I taught it to a few hundred people, and many of them tell me it has stopped their suffering. So I decided that I had to tell you.

Because if they can do it, so can you. Take just a moment and think about where you could stop suffering in your life if you dissolved your meanings. In your relationships. With your children. At work.

And if you can do it, so can everyone else in the world. Do you know anyone who feels victimized? Tell them. Do you know anyone who feels frequent anger, anxiety and upset? Tell them. Do you know parents who get upset with their children because of the meaning they give their children's behavior. Tell them. Tell your friends and family, tell your children, tell everyone that they no longer need to suffer.

Tell everyone what's possible

This is an idea that's worth spreading.

I am committed to having a world in which you and the other 7 billion people on this planet dissolve your meaning... and stop your suffering.

To view the video recording of the entire TEDx presentation, please go to

Thanks for reading my blog. Please post your questions or comments about suffering and how to dissolve the meaning that causes it. Your comments will add value for thousands of readers. I read them all and respond to as many as I can.

Morty Lefkoe is the creator of The Lefkoe Method, a series of processes that improve the quality of people's lives. One revolutionary process, the Lefkoe Belief Process, permanently eliminates limiting beliefs. To actually try that process, go to

Copyright © 2013 Morty Lefkoe