05/11/2012 05:49 pm ET Updated Jul 11, 2012

The Side Effects of Motherhood

Parenting can be unpredictable and eye-opening. So the journey from crib to empty nest is filled with learning experiences for all family members. And while we create opportunities for our children, it's clear that sometimes children are responsible for helping us find and develop our hidden talents. Below are half a dozen roles on the Mommy Track that took me a little by surprise.

I suspect there are plenty of moms, dads, daughters, and sons who could add even more interesting job titles. What are yours?


Yes, moms have an uncanny ability to make anything sound like it's good for you.
"Honestly honey, this fish tastes exactly like chicken."
"If you don't walk the dog, he'll like me better."
"Mowing the lawn is great exercise."


This time everyone makes the squad, because good moms cheer. And while we don't have the cool outfit or the adoring football players, we cheer day in and day out. When the prospects aren't bright, we cheer even harder and point our children in the right direction. The trophy of motherhood is in raising strong and kind kids.

Creative Thinker

There's nothing like a 9 p.m. wake-up call to get your creative juices flowing. It goes something like this -- "Mom, I need a Styrofoam ball and glitter for my space project tomorrow." After the reprimand, we shift into survival mode ripping apart old Christmas ornaments to find something that can double as Mars.


After the unsuccessful search of local 24-hour supermarkets for glitter, we vow to never be without sparkles, spare poster boards and an extra glue gun. Our homes begin to look like Office Depots -- with kitchens.

Sales Star

Even without retail skills, moms have been known to flip into product pushers. We've shoved more wrapping paper, cookies and magazines on family and friends than Walmart.


CSI's got nothing on us. We've been known to read the minds and behaviors of toddlers and teens. They think we're psychic when, in fact, we're just on hyper-alert for clues and all of our senses are firing. We can smell bad behavior a mile away and seemingly harmless objects tell tales. A stray barrette in the couch is nothing if you are a Girl Mom. If you've got only teen boys in residence and you haven't worn a hair accessory since the '80s, it's Exhibit A.

Happy Mother's Day!