If we ask ourselves how much of our time in the present we spend in the past, most of us would realize we're plagued with a perpetual, insufferable case of nostalgia. You think it would get easier as you grow up, that you'd somehow figure out the tricks, master the self-deception required to convince yourself that you're living in today rather than yesterday. But the longer you live, the more time you have to make mistakes, to think about them, the more you have to regret: the things you thought, the things you did, the things you said, and much worse, the things you didn't.
We all have those moments. The ones we look to just to ask what if? The ones we think about when we want to remember. To remember the sting, to remind ourselves that we're human and susceptible to pain, that with the slightest change of winds, everything would be different.
How many moments of your day do you spend reminiscing? How many ghosts live inside your soul? How many times have you revisited the same moment, playing out the scenarios, imagining you'd said this, done that, shown more, told less. Wishing it has been different, that you could go back and do it again.
F*ck it. It's time. It's time to call ghostbusters. Annihilate those ghosts. Because I promise you, no matter how much you think about it all, you can't go back. And when you're trying so hard to go backwards, you sure as hell can't move forward. You don't just recall the past; you become it. You are your regret.
You can't become who you'll be if you're being who you were. So seal it up, toss it out, and step on. You have plenty of mistakes to make today. Go make them.
This piece was initially published on Nayia's personal blog: Wanderlust.