THE BLOG
07/31/2014 04:49 pm ET Updated Sep 30, 2014

E-Mauled: Politicians Are Pummeling My Inbox

I am tired of emails.

Not because I get too many of them (I do). It's because most of them are pretty dumb.

I am a Democrat who years ago ran for Congress and served on New York's Democratic State Committee. Consequently, I am what they call in the trade a "base voter." Also consequently, I am on everyone's email list.

This has caused no small amount of gridlock on my own personal internet highway.

And for no apparent purpose.

I live on the border of Putnam and Westchester County just north of New York City. My congressman is Sean Patrick Maloney. (I know that because I never receive an email from him that doesn't include his middle name.) He is gay. (I know that because he has told me this a thousand times, while also telling me it doesn't matter for purposes of his being a Congressman, with which I agree.) He is married. (I know that because he sent me pictures from his wedding to Randy, which was nice but unnecessary; I don't get pictures from the weddings I go to and wasn't invited -- no offense taken -- to his.) Finally, I know that he was born on July 30. (I know that because Randy sent me an email last Monday asking me to sign Sean Patrick's e-card.)

None of this matters. I voted for him because he is a Democrat who supported Obamacare, raising the minimum wage and the draw down in Iraq, and because the prior Republican incumbent was way too comfortable with the Tea Party (which, in my mind, mixes hypocrisy and idiocy in equal measure to advance its politics of "No.")

So I don't need the wedding, birthday card, or Christmas wish emails, nor the almost daily requests for a campaign contribution. (I gave before and will again, but only once, and only when I know it won't be going to some out-of-district, big-foot media consultant.)

Maloney, however, is not remotely the worst. At least I am one of his constituents. That cannot be said, however, for Kyrsten Sinema (Arizona), Sean Eldridge (candidate in northern New York ), Brad Schneider (Illionois), Jan Schakowsky (Illinois) or Joe Kennedy III (Massachusetts). I hear from them all the time too, receiving more or less the same menu of birthday, holiday and please-give-me-some-money missives.

Then there's the D-triple C (DCCC or Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee), the DSCC (Democratic Senate Campaign Committee), and the DNC (Democratic National Committee). They're always emailing me for money too. Sometimes they get President Obama or Vice President Biden to email me as well.

For money.

My political friends tell me that email solicitations of small donors is now the hottest thing in political fundraising. The Democrats have apparently already raised a ton of small donor money on the emails publicizing the right wing's not-too-disguised desires to impeach the president. This, in turn, has sent the media, and Speaker Boehner, into paroxysms of rage (in Boehner's case) or laughter (in the media's) given the perceived unlikelihood of such a move.

The speaker and his friends say the impeachment talk is being cooked up by the Democrats just to raise money. Meanwhile, the Democrats keep pointing to the right-wing crazies in love with the I-word. (Boehner, of course, hasn't helped himself lately; he just got his caucus to vote to sue the president for failing to enforce Obamacare, which is pretty funny coming from them, and which -- in any case -- the Democratic emailers are treating as a mere prelude to impeachment.)

There are reasons people hate politicians.

They constantly create the impression that either they are irrelevant (because they aren't doing their job but seem to be very busy trying to keep it) or we are stupid (because we somehow care about sending them birthday cards).

I thought of just hitting "unsubscribe" at the bottom of all the emails. But then I decided this would be useless.

My wife was getting the same emails and tried to unsubscribe.

It didn't work.

She kept getting them.

By the way, I didn't sign the e-card but Happy Birthday anyway Sean Patrick.

Now get back to work.