THE BLOG
07/02/2015 02:50 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Four Tips From Tony Robbins to Handle Frustration

Sometimes you imagine a life for yourself that, for no apparent reason, you think will make you happy. And when you've fulfilled the dream, the one you went through all the trials and tribulations for, somehow happiness fails to find you. Today, Tony Robbins will help to shed light on what's in the background of all this.

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As Tony Robbins says in his lecture, there's always something you desire, something you'd like to get. It might be recognition, love from others -- mostly it's unconditional love -- and you feel obliged to create something absolutely unique, otherwise it won't work out. What's more, you're too far from achieving your new goal and you might well feel unable to bring it into your present. Frustration, however, uses up so much of your energy that it makes you unable to keep a clear head.

1. Change your internal communication

In order to make a change in your life, it's enough to simply change the stories you keep telling to yourself and to others. For example, 'I'll never be good enough', 'I'll never lose weight' and so on. If you can change your internal communication, you can achieve anything. These things seal you off from being happy, besides they attract people into your life who only reinforce this. Is this what you need? Obviously not.

2. You get what you believe in

What do you believe in? What obstacles do you pose to yourself? Why aren't you satisfied? The answers to these questions usually point out some emotional needs, which could be satisfied if you did something. E.g. 'If I was successful, more people would love me' ... A more radical version of this is stating 'It's easy for others' or 'I have no opportunities'. Yes, it's a perfect shield, but you'll never know what you're capable of until you ram the walls you erected. If you don't like your boundaries, destroy them. If you don't like not going towards your happiness or you feel that it's too distant; figure out the way there and do everything for it to work out. You have time, you don't have to worry. Take small steps towards the aim.

3. Let go of pressure

Release the heavy burden because it'll just cripple you and you'll never achieve your goal. Life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you. Yes, without control you suffer from seeing that the thing you desire will never become real, but then just let life bring whatever it has to. Believe me, you may be grateful for fate that everything happened the way it should.

If you suffer, there are two solutions at hand:
1. Thriving to improve,
2. helping others

4. Develop

However great successes you may achieve, days will come when it's boring to be on the top of the mountain. When you know the scenery, what's more you're bored with it. Then, you must improve, set off and see the other mountains; how high they are and whether you can climb them. Remember, your old mountain will still be there. You have nothing to lose.

And this is the difference between being brave and cowardly: the brave ones have at least once experienced what it's like to achieve something. From that moment on, you know nothing is impossible for you and you'll never be afraid of anything again. You'll fearlessly plunge into the very middle of the jungle of the surrounding mountains, knowing you'll find a way in every situation. Don't let your life go by focusing on becoming something or somebody. Release the burden you carry and let life shape you. Don't say you can't because it'll come true. I might say I'm unable to achieve my goals I set but I'm perfectly aware of owning everything what it takes inside me to fulfill them. Whether it'll work out or not depends exclusively on what's inside my head and whether I'll do my best to get there.

And when your life is at the point of seeming accomplishment and still you don't feel happy, and your friends cast it in your face that you shouldn't grumble while you feel desperately lonely with your little problem, always remember that the source of the problem is that you project a world you desire, a dream world, which fails to correspond to reality and it ultimately causes frustration. Let it go. Don't feel running out of time since everything happens when it's supposed to.