THE BLOG
01/22/2016 12:28 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Change Your Language, Change Your Life

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One thing I consistently see among my clients who have moved up from the unhappy, unsatisfied place they were in when we began working together is their use of PFO language.

What is PFO?

It stands for Positive Focus Options. Here are two examples that illustrate what I mean:

Recently, one of my clients accepted a position with a new company, and with it came more responsibility than she had ever had before. Her new job also came with more office politics and headaches. But rather than feeling overwhelmed by all the changes, she made a conscious decision to focus on the positive options in every situation.

As a result, she is working through the changes effortlessly.

Effortlessly doesn't mean easily. In her case, effortlessly means she feels she is in control and has a solid grip on the reins. During our recent private coaching session she said, "My new colleagues say I'm such a positive person!"

She now attracts exciting work and assignments like a magnet. Her co-workers noticed how well she works with others and how she handles challenging situations; she has already been asked to lead a company-wide initiative.

Another client's workplace has been in an uproar due to rumors of the office closing. Before she worked with me, she would have gossiped with her colleagues and complained about the company.

Now, she knows that type of energy is ineffective and limits her ability to be her best. Instead, she now chooses to keep her focus on doing her genius work and putting energy into things that she can control. She refuses to get pulled into the negativity that is going around the office.

Even under stressful situations, she can see the bigger picture and purposefully chooses options that make things happen. She was recently acknowledged by her peers and boss for the great work she has done. Executive recruiters have been contacting her frequently, too. She tells me she is happy.

What changed for these clients to make them see the world differently?

They started speaking the language of PFO.

Before we began working together, both clients frequently said, "I can't do this because ..." or, "This will never work ..."

Now, both of them use PFO phrases such as, "How can I make this better ..." and, "I'm going to focus on ..."

You can hear the positivity in their voices and in the language they use.

When you feel stuck and nothing is going well, tune into the language you are using.

Do you hear yourself using any of these Poison Words?

  • Not
  • Don't/ Doesn't
  • Can't
  • Won't
  • But
  • However
  • Could
  • Should
  • Might
  • Always
  • Never
  • Need to
  • Impossible
  • Guess

Ditch the Poison Words and reframe your sentence using the 5 Magic PFO Words.

  1. Do
  2. Want to
  3. Focus on
  4. Possible
  5. Option

Here are some examples:

POISON - I don't know what to do to change this sucky situation.

PFO - What could I possibly do to make this situation better?

POISON - I will try to work out tomorrow.

PFO - I am going to work out tomorrow.

POISON - I will never get that position.

PFO - I am going to focus on exploring ways I can get that position.

What you say affects your energy. If you are using negative language, your energy will be at a lower frequency and thus, less effective. Positivity attracts positive outcomes.

The examples I shared above reveal how simply changing your language can change your perspectives and what you attract into your life.

Do you choose the language of PFO, or do you allow yourself to get swept up into the vortex of negativity?

Choose to find a positive aspect in every situation. Watch your language. And start using the 5 magic PFO words. By changing your energy, you can change your life.

Are you stuck in an unhappy situation that you want to change? Share your story in the comments so you, too, can begin to speak the language of PFO.

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Nozomi Morgan, MBA, is a certified Executive Coach and the Founder and President of Michiki Morgan Worldwide LLC. Addition to coaching, she speaks and trains on leadership, career, professional development and cross-cultural business communication.

Visit www.nozomimorgan.com to learn more about Nozomi . There, you can download the free Leadership Discovery Tool. Follow Nozomi on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or Google+.