03/03/2014 05:10 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How to Survive Until The Next Award Season


1. Complain about the ceremonies
This is the time to talk about how much you weren't happy with the choice of winners. How your favorite director got snubbed, how your preferred TV show lost to a one you hate, how you think the actor who won has the talent of a 4-year-old, and how the best actress winner didn't show enough cleavage. Everyone has an opinion, and no one is ever happy. Makes you think why anyone even watches these award shows.

2. Vow to never watch the awards again
After it's all over, people start realizing that maybe spending a combined 15 hours watching Hollywood actors getting awards isn't that fulfilling. This is when you start saying that award shows actually mean nothing, and winning an award doesn't guarantee that you really were the best. So you swear that next year you won't give in to the award shows hype, and skip them. Except maybe the Emmys, because a new show you love might win. Oh, and the Golden Globes, because they're less predictable. And the People's Choice Awards, 'cause that's where the people vote and it counts. Next thing you know you're jonesing for a fix, watching the VH1 Mexican Music Video Awards.

3. Act out your own award shows
A fun way to get through months of no award shows is to stage your own. Anything can be a fun category between you and your friends and family. You can compete against your dad for "Best omelette," your roommate for "Strongest smell after using the bathroom," or try to win over your girlfriend for "Outstanding fear of commitment." We all know you love imagining what your acceptance speech would be. This is your chance to actually give it. Your only chance.

4. Learn more about the smaller categories
Usually, you root for your favorite films and actors, and if you're interested -- the writers and directors. Now, that you have some time to kill until the next award show, it's time to school yourself about the other, less glamorous categories. Get to know the big names of Makeup and Hairstyling. Follow the up and comers of Sound Editing. Pick a favorite Production Designer. This way, maybe next year you will enjoy yourself much more during the 3 hour ceremony, and put some excitement to what was, until now, bathroom break time.

5. Earn back the money you lost betting on it
You really shouldn't have bet on the winners. No matter how obvious they are, you always seem to lose. It would be a wise decision to sit out on waging next year, but we all know you won't. So at least spend the next months working harder to earn back some of the money you lost. I mean, really? You bet on the Croods for the animated category? I don't care if it gave you really good odds. You deserve the overtime you're gonna have to work to pay for that mistake.

6. Actually watch the nominated movies
Come on, be honest. You watched more of the Razzie nominated movies this year than the Oscar ones.