Here's the Outspeak roundup of the top five news stories so you can appear informed and worldly even if your fly is undone.
1. Jill Stein has raised over3 million in order to fund recounts in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Michigan. Who thought Jill Stein would be the one to swoop in and extinguish this dumpster fire? More here.
2. Colombia signs new peace deal with Farc. This time they are not letting the general public vote on whether they agree or not. They can't trust they'll give the 'right' answer. More here.
3. At least 80 people, mostly Shia pilgrims, have been killed by an ISIS bomb in Baghdad. ISIS cementing their role as the big bad in the world. More here.
4. Jesus Christ has been crowned King of Poland. It's official, the world has collectively lost it's mind. More here.
5. Dalai Lama not worried about Trump. Oh good, now we can all relax. More here.