03/05/2013 01:58 pm ET Updated May 05, 2013

5 Unconventional Ways To Cope With Divorce

Despite all the anguish one is going through, divorce happens to be a catalyst for discovering who you really are. I know, I know -- the last thing on most people's minds is discovering who they really are when coping with divorce. However, I assure you that if you can have an open mind to this process, you will find the lasting peace and rapid healing you're looking for.

Many years ago in the process of my divorce, I needed something beyond legal, financial and psychological counseling to help me. I needed some spiritual answers to why this was happening. I turned to my religion but unfortunately, I wasn't finding solace and answers in the doctrines given to me. In addition, I was tired of listening to other people telling me what to do or what was right. No, I was through with that. I needed to tap into my inner spiritual power -- which, with help, I did. And along with that, I found out who I really was. This discovery of my spiritual identity changed my life and led me right to the peace and healing I was seeking.

Here are some unconventional ways that helped me and can help you cope too:

Take time to pray and meditate. Time out for prayer or meditation relaxes your mind. Most people know how to pray but many have never been taught how to meditate. If you don't know how, there are many teachers, classes, books and cd's available that can help you with this. There is documented proof that meditation can help heal your body and bring about an overall sense of peace and well-being. The reason for this is that when you pray or meditate, your energetic frequency immediately raises to a higher vibration so you may connect with your spirit and your higher power. From here, you are relaxed enough to allow your body and mind to join with your spirit for a complete sense of well-being. Also, being relaxed allows you to receive those things such as love, peace, support and guidance that are being offered to you from the outside world.

Read books that help you explore your spirit. Go to the library or bookstore and browse the different new age and spiritual self-help books. There are many resources to choose from that will shift your mind from narrow thinking and open it up to new possibilities that will help you. Consider alternative ways of thinking that these authors share.

Take spiritual classes or attend seminars. Learning is an integral part of growing, and we must grow to heal. Allow yourself to explore the deeper meaning in all you're going through by learning different concepts, ideas and ways of being. There's so much information out there! There are even online courses or teleseminars where you don't have to leave the comfort of your home. I recommend you begin by browsing the internet for spiritual classes, workshops and seminars and then sign up for one that really resonates with you.

Join a community of other spiritual seekers. Although churches, synagogues or other religious institutions offer some help, there are other supportive communities for your spirit. In fact, you don't even need to go to an actual location as there are many online spiritual communities and forums. Even social media sites like Facebook have them. You'll be surprised by just how many people there are who are looking for spiritual understanding and support during a crisis. Although I didn't have this social media network at the time of my divorce, I was still able to find a support group made up of like-minded souls. What's great about this is that each person in the group brings different experiences, gifts and knowledge to share which can help you in so many ways. And there is a wonderful sense of peace and healing when gathered with other like-minded people.

Work with a spiritual mentor. I have found that one-on-one mentoring provides everything you need to move past the drama and pain of divorce and into a happier, more peaceful life. Even if you can't fathom how you will ever be happy or peaceful again, I assure you a qualified mentor will show you that it is entirely possible. They will help you discover your true strengths and natural talents. A good mentor is like having your very own spiritual teacher, healer and coach. They will empower and guide you in developing and achieving goals and aspirations that will serve your spirit and well-being for many years to come.

I can't stress enough how discovering who you really are will result in a most peaceful and healing experience for you. It helped me break free of all the pain I was going through in my divorce and then helped me further in leaving the past behind. At that point, I was finally in a position to enjoy a wonderful new and fulfilling life. And I still invest in my spirit today! Embracing my spirit still brings tremendous peace, healing, happiness and abundance to my whole being. The rewards are enormous. Give it a try -- you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Pamela has openings for her one-on-one mentoring program to heal and spiritually support you through the often difficult and painful process of divorce. Visit her website at or contact her at