Let's set the scene:
I'm in downtown Riverdale, NY waiting in line at Starbucks to order coffee. I'm dressed in a sleeveless tank top (I'm sporting cleavage), and loose fitting flowing slacks. There is a very handsome, older tall man in front of me wearing a safari-style hat. He is long, lean and peering down at me. I notice his cuteness.
Handsome Man: "That's a lovely top."
Me: "Thank you for noticing. It's hot out."
Handsome Man (peering down at me and winking): "Yes, it is."
STOP THE ACTION! Here is "the moment." This man is flirting with me. I have three choices: I can take offense; ignore him or choose to have a little fun and get my "Flirt on."
Guess what I do?
Me: (getting in the mood for a good flirt) "Well, thank you for noticing my top; and I can't be held responsible for its effect on the environment." I smile and insert coy glance.
Handsome Man: "No, you can't. But I'm going to order an iced coffee."
Young staff at Starbucks are now staring at us completely open-mouthed and wide-eyed. I almost burst out laughing at the expressions on their faces.
Me, talking to Starbucks' staff: "Yes kids, people over 50 flirt publicly too."
Everybody laughs. And Handsome Man pays for my drink.
Sometimes you just need a "Good Flirting." Really. And forget the idea that flirting is just for "younger people." I think our best flirting happens in mid-life and I am a big believer in the power of flirting to enliven everyday existence.
I was so much happier after my Starbucks encounter; and my bet is that my tall handsome man was too. As Mae West said, "It's not what I do, but the way I do it. It's not what I say, but the way I say it."
Flirting is simple, but the results to our life force energy can be extraordinary. Flirting allows us to play with our sexual selves, be seen by others, giggle and smile, be appreciated in a harmless way that is totally priceless.
Think about flirting as "Sipping" sex, because when we flirt, we may not actually be intending to sit down to eat. We just want to enjoy the flavors of the people around us, and reflect that joy back to them. It's meant to be fun. And it's a harmless but healthy way to move our sexual energy with others.
Flirting is good for us, and good for the people that we flirt with. It's one way that we all stop being invisible to each other. And then one of my clients, came up with this phrase called "Catch and Release". She put it this way:
"I've been sipping (what I will call fishing) a lot lately and it's caused some positives & some negatives in my life. I won't go into all the details let's just say I'm a better fisher woman than I thought I'd be. My lure got a bite when I put it in the water, and it felt good to catch the fish. I know the fish wanted to be caught. I wanted the fish to desire me. But the stress came when I didn't know what to do with them. No container to store them, so to speak. No space, no cage. Having fish- wanting having them- waiting for me to do something with them- is stressful. The fish get anxious, demanding and frantically flap their fins for attention. What I didn't realize is that I could have just released them back into the water after catching them. No need to find storage space. Just Catch and Release".
So go fishing, or sipping, or have a tiny bite. Flirting can happen anywhere; you just have to be open to flirting. When the flirt is thrown at you; you need to catch it!
Remember, you can take a bite of candy and put it back. You can catch a fish; and then release it.
Flirting is about being playful. Having fun. Feeling alive. And you can flirt at any age and almost anywhere. When was the last time you had a good flirting? It can all start with meeting a gaze and a smile.
Try it on.