11/12/2012 01:36 pm ET Updated Jan 12, 2013

Some Tips for Dazed Republicans

Republicans are trying to figure out why they did so poorly in the 2012 presidential and Congressional elections. I have a few tips that they may find useful in forthcoming elections.

1. Avoid any Presidential candidate whose slogan is "Believe in America," but keeps much of their money in Switzerland, Bermuda and the Cayman Islands.

2. Do not allow Donald Trump, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity to appear at any Republican event, anywhere, anytime -- even a fundraiser.

3. Reject any presidential candidate who will not publicly release at least 10 years of prior IRS filings, particularly if they are very rich and secretive about how they made their money.

4. Discourage explanations about how a woman's reproductive system works, particularly if the candidate is an older, overweight, sweaty male.

5. Encourage Presidential candidates to never say that 47 percent of the American public are "takers" and thus are burdens on the other "53" percent -- particularly if done in a private meeting with rich donors where there may be waiters with smartphones.

6. Do not allow the radical wing of your party to pick the vice presidential running mate. You may get someone whose views on abortion, privatizing Social Security and "voucherizing" Medicare is opposed by about 2/3 of the voters.

7. Do not announce that on the first day of your Administration you will cancel national health care for more than 40 million Americans, which is a really big block of voters to make angry.

8. Have your presidential candidate take only one position on any issue and then stick with it. Moreover, doubling down on a lie, for instance, that Jeep will be shifting jobs overseas, should be avoided.

9. Do not try to suppress the votes of blacks, Hispanics, Asians and others who may vote against your candidates. Voters may not vote when urged, but they will surge to the polls if you try to stop them.

10. Finally, never select a presidential candidate who takes a vacation trip with the family dog strapped in a cage on the car's roof. America is a nation of dog lovers.

All in all, the amazing aspect of the 2012 election is not that Governor Romney and the GOP were defeated so badly, but that they did as well as they did.