05/19/2015 08:28 am ET Updated May 19, 2016

Advice for the High School Class of 2015

Another year has come and gone too quickly. I've had the good fortune of working with some wonderful young people who are destined for great lives, and they will always be a part of me, even though it's likely I will not see most of them ever again.

As is always the case with May Madness, there is rarely time for a proper goodbye and a dispensing of last words of college advice, so this will have to suffice. I offered a longer-reasoned list of advice a few years ago; adding to that are these gems, which, in the interest of the reader, I've reduced to bite-sized tweets. They may not be as self-explanatory, but life will help you make sense of them at just the right time.

Many thanks for the opportunity to work with each of you.

  • Used books read the same.
  • Separate colors. Really.
  • Loosen the bolts, then jack.
  • Dorm fridge? Baking soda.
  • Stomp on one, clap on two.
  • Morning breath is bad until you brush.
  • 7 o'clock is sleeping in.
  • Two cups of water for every cup of rice.
  • No means no. Always.
  • Mom and Dad, Sunday at 2, without fail.
  • The first team scoring in a shutout usually wins.
  • If you must, 1-2-4. But someone gets your keys first.
  • Pizza on debit? Yes. Pizza on credit? No.
  • John Coltrane.
  • The reader who highlighted got a C-.
  • If you can't leave 20 percent, order less.
  • New sheets weekly.
  • Office hours and rough drafts.
  • If you take it home, you still wash it.
  • It's their life.
  • The red strings are C. The black ones? Ask.
  • Water above the knife, salad on the other side.
  • Keep quiet, and take your hat off.
  • "Thank you" with every Scantron.
  • Love.