01/15/2012 07:32 pm ET Updated Mar 16, 2012

God to Tebow: "Busy Selecting a Candidate in Texas, Confused Tom for Tim"

In a message intercepted by the national security agency, God told Tim Tebow that he was so busy this weekend talking to his people in Texas deciding who, among those he had told to run, should be the Republican presidential candidate that he just confused "Tom" with "Tim".

"Tim, it was an honest, predictable mistake", wrote the Lord of the Universe, "Tom, after all, was the Patriot".

Although recognizing that God works in mysterious ways, Tebow prayed on it, asking Jesus why the score had to be so lopsided. "He wanted to be certain it was not decided by a 'Hail Mary'", said Jesus. "Between you, me and Pat Robertson, he was tired of mom getting all the credit".

Tebow's loss and the anointing of Rick Santorum threw the Republican nomination process into turmoil. God's plan, it had seemed, had been to select a candidate this weekend in Texas, in the quiet rooms Republicans like for discussing things such as the economy, enabling Santorum to make the South Carolina primary close and then, with seconds to go before January 21, a victorious Tebow was to endorse Santorum for banning contraception, thus getting Santorum to paydirt.

But, that can no longer work. Santorum cannot be endorsed by a losing Tebow.

For the Republicans, It is now on to Plan B.

Perhaps that was God's plan all along?