When you're a guy whose website header reads, "The Real-Life Party God;" when your email is TheKingOfPartying@Gmail.com; when you write songs like "Party Hard," "Big Party," "Long Live the Party" and "It's Time To Party;" when your party game is so good that you can write books about it, and do philosophy tours, and nearly become Cultural Ambassador to Bahrain, you're bound to have opinions on New Years' Eve -- arguably the "partiest" day of the year.
And Andrew W.K. does. Appropriately it's one of his favorite holidays, not just because it's the biggest bash of the year (for most people; when you're him it's "in the best way, just another day,") but because the spirit, camaraderie and hope of the occasion match so well with who Andrew W.K. is and what he does.
I mean really, New Year's Eve, that mindset and that feeling, has been a big inspiration for me in general. Trying to figure out a way to make that feeling present every day, or every party, as much as possible.
Now, for the second year Andrew W.K. is giving back to the day in the most fitting way: with one of his confetti-clotted concert-party extravaganzas on New Year's Eve in Chicago. After he and his band played their first New Years Eve show in New York last year he realized, "This was the greatest time I ever had on New Year's; I want to do this every year from now on."
But what if you don't live in Chicago? And what if you can't make it to Chicago? You may wonder, "Has The Party God forsaken me to a boring New Year's Eve?"
Of course not. Though he would never tell you exactly how to party, Andrew W.K. was kind enough to share his very professional opinion on what people can do wherever they are, to maximize every element of their night. Here they are, in all their glory:
Andrew W.K.'s Eight Keys to a Party New Year's Eve
Step One: (Party) Sleep In
In anticipation of the idea that you're going to be staying up late, quite possibly until even the sunrise -- or even beyond -- on early New Year's Day, I would recommend sleeping in on New Year's Eve. I am a big believer that napping and sleeping counts as partying as long as you sleep very hard and nap with an extreme amount of commitment. Like it has to be a hardcore sleep. It's not a sleep out of laziness, it's a sleep that's rejuvenating and building up our endocrine systems.
(Apparently this is nothing new. In high school Andrew liked to set his alarm just so that he could have the delight of turning it off again. "Because nothing is more enjoyable than that -- it really is like a physical, pleasurable rush. Like a high. It really is to me... even if you're not tired.")
Step Two: Fuel The Party Machine
Once you rise, I would begin by having the biggest breakfast meal that I possibly could. But considering the fact that it may now be well after noon, you could start with a pizza breakfast! I mean you could start with pancakes of course... you could start with tacos, or nachos. The idea would be, you don't have to play by their rules anymore when it comes to this day.
Step Three: Party Sleep Some More?
You might even feel like rolling back over to sleep after that point, which you certainly can do. You can start the day twice, and have breakfast again! You could have two days in one! I mean, if you're trying to extract as much day out of New Year's Eve, then why not have it feel like two days?
Step Four: Hydrate
I would begin an early evening, maybe late afternoon, ritual of consuming a huge quantity of water. Most importantly, it is to hydrate you for a long night of exertion. Hydration allows you to continue moving. Nimbleness. You want nimbiality when it comes to moving your body around, and it's got to stay greased up. And the best way to grease is with waters! And then you can really indulge in any other substance knowing that you have that watery core.
Step Five: Prepare for Contingencies
So if you've plumped yourself up, and literally bloated yourself like a water balloon full of fluid, you may have many emergencies to where you have to use the restroom. This is a situation where a pocket toilet comes in very handy...
(From here Andrew went on to discuss exactly how a pocket toilet works, but I'll leave you figure that out yourself if it sounds like your kind of thing.)
Step Six: Limber Up
You want to definitely stretch out your calves, definitely stretch out your hamstrings, definitely definitely stretch out your front leg -- that would the quad, muscle above the knee, but also your shin. So like that kind of reverse ankle stretch, all of those. You want to be loose as a goose.
Step Seven: Go On a Flavor Quest
I always thought it was interesting at the bar how they have, you know, there's bottles of liquor back there that are very rarely accessed. There's strange obscure stuff that's sort of dusty in the back, that is rarely requested. Dive into those. Like, let's crack those open and see what they're all about. And it might be something you've already had before, but I just feel sometimes bad that those bottles are being left out and they want to join the party too.
Step Eight: Hang On
I mean you can't go to sleep before midnight. Well, unless you find a time zone. It may not be the time zone you're in, but a time zone where things are occurring much earlier... after midnight? Just keep going. I mean here's a time to eat again, see it's going to be very crowded. Things are going to begin to devolve into a chaotic state.
At this point it does seem like you could start the eight steps over again for a Party New Year's Day. But just in case you're feeling a little under the weather, there's also a special Andrew W.K. recovery beverage you can avail yourself of. Savory Water, he calls it. Something he's learned "from very advanced chefs, cooks and whatnot."
Mainly it's butter water. This is a way to rejuvenate very quickly, and again on a cold day these extra fats really help your body when it's burning that kind of energy. Butter water mainly though is just so much more appetizing. Add butter to anything, as we all know, it just tastes so much better... I have found that this has been a much easier way to slam down a lot of water very quickly. You know, make it by the pitcher.
I'll leave you with the recipe:
1 regular cup of water
1 inch-wide slice of butter off the stick of butter
I'll put a little salt, I'll put a little pepper in there. I will add sometimes more exotic spices like Paprika or Cardamom or like chili powder if you want to kick it up a notch. Cayenne is very popular, lemon juice*.
You put that in the water, you mix it up.
*Note: You want to be careful with the lemon and butter though it can get, sometimes, a little funny, you don't want it to get too thick.
Get information on Andrew W.K.'s New Years Eve Show here