Fox & Friends Roundup: Thursday, Sept. 20, 2012
I Watch So You Don't Have To!
Well, hello! Here we are again -- together on the curvy couch with the Three Stooges of Fox & Friends. This morning, with Obama's polls up, the Dooce, Gretch and @kilmeade had a lot of work to do... and oh boy, did they do it. Sadly, they also stepped in it.
Apparently, yesterday was National Talk Like a Pirate Day -- and the triumphant trio were shocked! Outraged! And very upset that Obama apparently had time to hang out with a pirate -- but not Netanyahu. Flashed on screen (at least five times) was a huge pic of Obama and a pirate. Unfortunately for our hapless heroes, it was taken in 2009. Not 2012.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Starting off -- an interview with 2016 producer D'Nesh Dsouza -- who was speaking from the West Coast and resembled a sleepy lizard. More important than 2016 is the leaked Obama tape from 1998.
Tweet: The Dooce to Dnesh: There's an embarassing tape out there from 1998 of Obama -- you wont see it anywhere else except here!
Tweet: Dnesh: Obama is a GLOBAL redistributor! (we will lose everything to everyone)! he uses our debt as redistributing! he gives $ away!
That's right -- Fox & Friends -- warriors against the Mainstream Media! Nota Bene: If Obama is giving money away, I'd like to get in that line. Mama could use some.
Up next -- Libya! Apparently the attacks were the mastermind of a Gitmo detainee!
Tweet: Gretch on #Libya (Chyron: FREE TO KILL): Former Gitmo detainee! @kilmeade: only fox is connecting the dots!
Tweet: #Libya consulate attacker -- was in Gitmo, now out. FACE OF TERROR. The Dooce doing impersonatons of Susan Rice and Jay Varney
Tweet: Gretch on Susan Rice: You go and say whatever you want to say whether its true or not (irony alert) -- will there be a follow up?
What our trio neglected to mention was that the Gitmo detainee was freed by former President Bush -- not Obama. But they alluded otherwise, don't you worry! I also appreciated the heavy irony Gretch's saying Susan Rice can say anything whether it's true or not (see: Pirate). Alert: this is not the only ironic moment in the show.
And back to the Blind Sheik conspiracy that only Fox & Friends can uncover -- the Dooce is on the case:
Tweet: The Dooce: it sounds like behind the scenes theyre talking about releasing the blind sheik! (its been denied)
Tweet: @kilmeade: (Blind Sheik) gonna blow up all the tunnels in NYC! -- Gretch brings up Lockerbie bomber "it seem implausible, BUT... "
Nothing seems implausible when it comes to Kilmeade. To their credit, they did spend a considerable amount of time yammering on about the Blind Sheik being released -- and once again let Roger Ailes' lawyer Peter Johnson on to yell about it -- but today, unlike yesterday, they ran tape of the State Dept denying this would happen (before basically calling them liars).
Next up: Darryl Issa on Fast & Furious, and Media Matters
Tweet: Media Matters and Dept of Justice -- Issa: not since richard nixon have we seen a president put together an enemies list and go after them!
Tweet: The Dooce: Congressman Issa on the enemies list just like the rest of us! @foxandfriends
IRONY ALERT: The Dooce gets an exclusive with Cookie Monster from Sesame Street. Apparently, Cookie Monster is OK -- despite Fox & Friends once blasting Sesame Street for its liberal agenda and Elmo for being gay. Actually, maybe all isn't forgiven. At one point during the interview the Dooce force feeds Cookie Monster cookies with an evil grin on his face. Not gonna lie -- it was touch and go there for a minute.
Tweet: cut to commercial as the Dooce maliciously force feeds Cookie Monster cookies. @foxandfriends -- he has not forgotten the liberal bias!
Newsflashes include Shot of Oliver Stone grabbing Salma Hayek's boob (screen grab left on for a full minute); and
Tweet: Jamil Shaw Jr killed by illegal immigrant -- first story on @foxandfriends re a black teen Ive seen... thanks to illegal immigrants!
There is a lovely conversation about the 47 percent tape of Romney and the trio wondering "what was left out on those two minutes"? As well as "taking out of context" discussions. IRONY ALERT:
Tweet: not mentioned on @foxandfriends:Obama's "redistribution" talk also included language to "foster competition."
Tweet: The Dooce: and NOW mother jones has had to say the (47% tape) is MISSINg two minutes or so... (CONSPIRACY!)@foxandfriends
Tweet: @kilmeade: i think Romney will be helped! Malkin: Its not clear its the FULL video (irony) -- he talks about independence -- not the cult of Obama!
Tweet: Gretch (irony alert): Theres that one line (from 47% vid) thats all that people talk about! @foxandfriends
I wonder what they think is missing from those two minutes from the 47% tape? Is there something on there that Mother Jones nefariously edited out? Is Romney really a unicorn? Does he secretly love the poor and want to cuddle them all? I smell conspiracy!
Now on to Frank Lutz, the Republican operative who discusses political ads -- and yep, you guessed it! Romney ad is "positive" and great! While Obama ad is negative and bad!
Tweet: Obama Up 8 Points Nationally In Latest Pew Poll -- dont worry -- @foxandfriends will explain how thats not true!
Guest Giuliana Rancic (she of Comcast/NBC and the Mainstream media)
Tweet: The Dooce: the amazing thing about (giulana Rancic) in public you put on a happy face -- but really... not so happy!
Finally, Michelle Malkin is on to explain the farcical aspect of polls that show Obama is up
Tweet: Michelle Malkin (in colorado?) on polls and 47% vid: its coordinated, manufactured and the politics of Squirrel (the dog from UP)
Tweet: Michelle Malkin: democratic strategists and their enablers in the media! the tape is dirty -- manufacturing faux rage! (she shld know).
I could get into more of Malkin, but let's be honest -- she's just too predictable and rehearsed with her angry weird soundbites. She hates Andrea Mitchell, Obama, poor people and well, pretty much everything else. She's like the not as smart, Asian version of Ann Coulter.
Other guests include Soccer mom who got arrested letting kids play outside, lawyer Bob Massi -- who looks eerily like wrestler Ric Flair -- Jewel, The Bayou Billionaires and Lauren Bush.
Peter Johnson, like a dog with a bone, once again goes after Obama for letting the Blind Sheik go and not meeting with Netanyahu. Screen shows Obama with Pirate (from 2009) as music blasts: YOHOHO A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME!
Tweet: The Dooce: Obama sat with a pirate, hung with Jay Z and Beyonce, went on David letterman -- but cant meet with Netanyahu
Tweet: Johnson: ISREAL SNUBBED! Israel is our ally -- he wont meet with them -- and then we have Mr Morsi (MB)!
Tweet: PJ doesnt like the wording of State dept on Blind Sheik -- obviously he will be released!
So, there you have it! Talking points of the day:
· Obama will hang with pirates but not Netanyahu!
· The Blind Sheik will be released to the Egyptians -- even if the State Dept denies it -- they're lying! (obvi!)
· Only Fox & Friends has the BALLS to talk about the Obama tape of '98 -- all three seconds of it!
· Under Obama al Qaeda has thrived and the world is blowing up!