08/13/2008 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Ask Phyllis: Astrology and Beyond

Dear Phyllis,

I've been dating a terrific guy named James for over 2 years. He claims he's going to marry me when he hits it big, but so far, nothing. He's savvy and ambitious, which I admire. But James gets so obsessed with his projects there's often little time for romance. Sometimes I'm actually jealous of his job!

I ask you Phyllis: Should I wait for James? Or give up? And when will he become as devoted to me as he is to his work? James is a Capricorn born on January 8th.


Waiting for the Deal

Phyllis Says:
Dear Waiting,

Although I usually suspect claims of "I'll marry you when I'm more successful" a ploy of reluctant affections, I consider that your sweetheart is a Capricorn*. Because of that, I suggest you hang in there a bit longer. Capricorns are famous for holding the pleasures of life -- including romance and marriage -- at bay until they achieve the high goals they set for themselves.

Chances are James is doing something typical of his sun sign -- which is to work like mad to establish worldly status (and a bulky bank account) in order to feel worthwhile. He probably believes being successful is a reasonable first step to getting married. I doubt James is stringing you along as much attempting to be practical.

And practical is romantic to Capricorns.

Good news! The lucky planet Jupiter traveling through Capricorn can certainly help James (and most all Capricorns) realize some pretty important successes this year. James should start to achieve some of the big goals he's set for himself pretty darn soon.

Give him until Valentine's Day 2009. If he isn't offering you more than a box of chocolates by then, you might want to look elsewhere.

However, I also suggest that you forget about James becoming more attentive once you get married. If a Capricorn, or person as driven as a one, puts work before relationships pre-marriage, they are pretty darn likely to make work a priority after they walk down the aisle.

If you're not the type that enjoys taking care of yourself -- and the kids should they come along -- while James is off climbing ever-bigger mountains, marry another sun sign.

HINT: Encourage a Capricorn commit to you by showing how being with you can help them achieve their goals even better.

Dear Phyllis,

My job is stressing me out. I put in incredibly long hours and knock myself out trying to everything done right. My boss is impossible to please and only addresses me when she's assigning me new tasks. I feel unappreciated, even as I'm giving my best.

I ask: Should I quit and look for something better? I'm a Virgo** born September 2nd.


Devoted, But Not Promoted

Dear Devoted,

As a fellow Virgo, I feel your pain. It's not easy trying so hard to be perfect... especially when no one seems to notice!!

It's definitely time for you (and most every other Virgo) to direct your industrious efforts towards something genuinely meaningful. If your current job is a stepping-stone towards a worthwhile goal, hang in there and pay your dues.

But if your job is a side-track from your truer aspirations, start looking around for alternatives. In other words, position yourself towards building the life you want -- and soon! The stars are urging you to take yourself more seriously and do what it takes to succeed... even if it means starting over.

Don't expect life to be easy. You and other Virgos are experiencing the life-changing effects of a Saturn transit. Saturn usually creates some sort of challenge that brings out what a person is really made of. Some Virgos might have to work super hard to achieve the smallest of wins. Others might be winning a lot but overwhelmed by the avalanche of responsibilities it creates.

Either way, most every Virgo is forced to develop in ways they never have before. And to earn their success.

Your frustrating situation and difficult authority figure are part of Saturn's game. By dealing effectively with them, you can build the very abilities that serve as the backbone of your later success.

That said, ask yourself if you are putting undue pressure on yourself to perfect tasks that don't merit the effort. Or if you are aiming lower than your capabilities for fear of failure. Virgos can sabotage themselves that way.

In your case, feeling unappreciated could signal it's time to shift your assignment of authority. Instead of looking for your boss's approval to feel validated, get very good at validating your own performance. Pursue excellence because your nature enjoys doing so, even if no one is currently noticing. That's because Saturn rewards taking responsibility for yourself and developing your inner authority.

Plus, applauding yourself for a job well done the perfect way to boost your perfection-seeking Virgo self esteem.

This is a very important time for you, Virgo. Do something worth working (hard!) for. Let your wisdom discern what that truly is for you.

*Capricorns are born December 22nd-January 20th

**Virgos are born August 23rd-September 22nd