12/23/2013 03:00 pm ET Updated Feb 22, 2014

White House Arrests Santa Claus for Standing Up for a Higher Minimum Wage

On Wednesday, December 18, Santa Claus himself walked through Lafayette Park and arrived at the fence of the White House where he unfurled his Christmas wish list for the president. The list had but one item: "Issue an executive order to raise the minimum wage for federal contract workers."

Despite hearing that the president would not come outside to receive Santa's wish in person, Santa refused to leave, holding firm while his accompaniment of elves chanted "Ho ho ho, he won't go" and "Grant Santa's Wish! Raise the minimum wage!"

President Obama was faced with a pressing decision: Arrest Santa Claus or grant his sole Christmas wish.

Santa had even written a special poem for the occasion that he read as he strolled along. It went something like this:

'Twas two weeks before Christmas: at the Senate and House,
No lawmaker was stirring, nor clicking their mouse.
Their bags are all packed for the recess with care.
We've hoped for some progress, but they've passed nothing there.

While Congressmen nestle all snug in the beds
Of industry hacks and Fox News talking heads,
The workers who toil on minimum wage
are hurting... so Santa's becoming enraged!

Minimum wages have steeply declined!
From their peak at $10.70, we've fallen behind.
You can't survive on annual $15k!
Why lose tax dough to welfare when Walmarts can pay?

With Boehner! And Cantor! McConnell and Hannity...
Gumming up steps towards minimum wage sanity;
Ignoring workers and stirring up drama...
...Our only hope now is some help from Obama!

The President cannot pass laws in a day
But can issue executive orders that say
That jobs which are based on contracts with the fed
Have raises in wages or those contracts are dead!

It would help set the stage up on Capitol Hill
For a too-long-awaited minimum wage bill
I know you will listen - Santa's an optimist -
To this one item on Santa's Christmas wish list

"Mr. O! if you take your executive ink
And put it to paper; 2 million on the brink
Would be helped by a much-needed, much-deserved raise
And you would have all of the North Pole's praise!"

Later, as the U.S. Park Police placed Santa under arrest and hauled him off for merely standing still on a public sidewalk, Old St. Nick uttered some parting words for the President: "Grant my wish for an executive order to raise the minimum wage for poor federal contract workers! And please let me out by Christmas Eve!"

Watch the video of the entire incident here:

(Santa Claus presented his wish in conjunction with the Time for A Raise Campaign a project out of Ralph Nader's Center for Study of Responsive Law)