THE BLOG
02/23/2016 06:00 pm ET Updated Feb 23, 2017

5 Traits that Prove He Is Not Dating Material

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You're running out of options and every man you date seems to be the wrong man. You feel helpless, hopeless, undesirable and really, really angry and stupid!

Have you ever been with a man who for months has treated you as if you're his soul mate, only to withdraw suddenly and make you feel left hanging? Or you know that things are perfect between the two of you, you've been seeing each other for quite a while now, but it feels like he's stalling and the relationship is stuck, which causes you to worry that it'll never get moving forward again?

You give and give, and love and love yet you get so little in return. You are beating yourself up for feeling desperate for attention and affection and a commitment that may never be forthcoming.

It's a dilemma that most single women face at one time or another in their lives. Just when you think you have met the man you really like he disappears on you! You have read the rule book, and followed every step there is in making sure that you were not the one initiating the dating process. And you could swear he was head over heels crazy about you.

What went wrong?

Mixed signals from men cause so much confusion in the mind. You deserve much more from a romantic partner so don't put up with the nonsense thinking it is leading somewhere. If a man truly wants to be with you, you will know. You won't ever have to guess. If he's truly interested in you, you will hear from him and he will make it VERY clear that he would like to spend time with you and get to know you better.

Inconsistency in a man can mean different things and may be a symptom of several unhealthy and unwanted dating flaws. There could be a number of reasons why he is sending mixed signals:

1. He is dating other women: Meaning that you are not the only one on his radar.

2. He is emotionally unavailable: Could be because he has been in a relationship and is getting over it, he is separated or divorced. Or even that he is totally preoccupied with his career and has no time for a relationship at this time.

3. He is unsure of what he wants: He has dated many different types of women and is attracted to this quality in one, that feature in another and he is confused. He does not want to make a decision and is unsure about you at this time.

4. He wants to have his cake and eat it too: You are just a time filler as far as he is concerned. He is keeping you "on the line" so to speak while he checks out other women. He is just playing around.

5. He is looking for intimacy without the commitment: He only wants sex and intimacy. That is all you mean to him. Which means that he is not seriously interested in you.

In any dating scene the best thing to do is let the man lead, because it's the only way you will know if he is really interested in you. Don't text, e-mail or call. Let him do so until you're on a more sure footing. Even then keep it at random. Men tend to want what they cannot have. Hold off on contacting the guy and instead give him a chance to show you what his intentions are.

Letting your date lead will help you gather important information about him. Give him a chance to show you how serious he is about you. How often does he call you, or text you? How often does he want to see you? Is he consistent about it or is he one of those who are happy to call but don't really bother to spend time connecting with you to build a solid relationship? If so it is a sign of his lack of seriousness and interest in moving the relationship forward. If this is the case don't waste your time trying. Best to move on.

When a man is not seriously interested you have very little leverage to change him. Go on with life until you meet a man who is into you. The right romantic partner will consistently call, text and want to see you. He will want to protect you and make you happy. He will appreciate you and go out of his way to make you his priority. A quality man who is interested in you will do his utmost to give you the world.

Yes, good men are out there, and there are so many quality men to choose from. You will recognize the one that is right for you when you meet him. You are good enough and there is nothing you need to change. You don't need to lose weight, to get a makeover, to drive a fancy car. You are perfect just as you are. It is not about you so don't let anyone tell you any different.

Don't settle for just anyone. You deserve so much more.

You Are Enough.

© Rani St. Pucchi, 2016
For more information on Rani St. Pucchi please visit www.ranistpucchi.com