Marianne Williamson, one of my favorite authors, says in "A Return to Love" that we live either in fear or in love. She says that love is to fear what light is to darkness. You turn on a light to get rid of darkness and in the same way you turn up love to diminish fear.
Fear has shown up in my life as depression, low self esteem, lack of self worth, sadness, shame, lack of confidence, comparison, resentment, illness, regret.
Love shows up in my life as generosity, kindness, confidence, courage, open-heartedness, non-judgment, purpose, wellbeing, enthusiasm, hopefulness, joy, passion, forgiveness.
Fear keeps us living small lives. We were not meant to live small lives. We all have exceptional gifts to offer the world, we owe it to ourselves and those around us to live in love.
We move from fear to love each time we acknowledge the fear, face it and walk towards it. Fear doesn't go away, we have to work with it, move it, confront it, challenge it and take it by the hand, sometimes kicking and screaming.
How does that relate to your world and your life?
Here are the some of the fears I've faced over the recent years.
- Starting my business ... why would anyone read my book or come to me for coaching or attend one of my workshops? Who do I think I am?
- Ending a marriage ... could I cope on my own, what if I'd listened to the other voices that told me I'd be no good on my own?
- My daughter's illness ... what if the unthinkable happened?
- Being interviewed on live radio? What if I dried up?
Here are other ways we face up to our fear that will perhaps resonate with you...
- asking for help
- seeking forgiveness
- standing up for ourselves and setting boundaries
- dating again
- applying for a new job
- booking that appointment with the doctor
- confronting a bully
All these demand love, especially of ourselves and a walking through fear.
One of my greatest joys is seeing women come alive again. I love seeing them see possibility for their lives when before they've only seen fear. I love to see the reemergence of the woman they were and know themselves to be deep down. I love to see them making strides out of love for themselves.
Here's what I've learned about letting go of fear and leaning into love...
- Fear just gets bigger the more we ignore it
- Fear gives me mouth ulcers and headaches
- I'm worthy of being loved
- Letting go of fear is the daily practice of becoming bold
- Releasing fear means I get to be authentically me
- Yes, there's always resistance, there's always an internal conversation
- Turn the focus towards what I'll be giving up by not letting go of the fear