This post originally appeared in Reductress.com.
If you're pushing 30 and still using vowels like you did in college, stop talking, and start laying down in your casket! You had your chance, now move aside -- vowels are for the young of body!
If you were born before 1984, stop using these young vowels:
6.) Sometimes Y
7.) The 7th vowel you can't use anymore is consonants. Shut up and die already you old witch!
8.) P.S. Why are you even on the Internet?
9.) P.P.S. If you've ever called it "interwebs" double kill yourself. You're not cute; you're 30! Never talk again!