04/16/2014 01:56 pm ET Updated Jun 16, 2014

Getting Over Your Ex-itis

I have a friend that suffers from something that I used to have.

I call it "Ex-itis."

It's no secret that it has taken me many years to come to terms with the betrayal, infidelity and lying my ex-husband put me through... It's taken me a long time to put his scumbag behavior behind me.

But time heals all wounds and now I've moved beyond it. Only now, I'm watching a dear friend struggle with the exact same affliction -- and she hasn't been so lucky in terms of getting past her sorrow.

Her ex-husband is a man -- and I use the word "man" grudgingly and only because he is one, anatomically speaking -- that she hasn't been with for five years. He has since moved on and is planning a future with someone else. But for some reason she still can't let go. She is angry, she is still in love, and she fears being alone.

She is alone because he's not there, but I just don't know what she's holding onto aside from a horrible headache. And it saddens me to watch a fun-loving and once very happy and confident woman suffer because she has Ex-itis.

Time, of course, will help her heal. I know it helped me. But I don't know how to help her start healing and begin the journey right NOW. It has already been five years. What do you think she can do to start getting over him?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on Ex-itis in the comments below. Do you have it or know someone who is suffering from it?