The holidays are here and we're single. Is that a reason to feel depressed or lonely? I hope not. There is nothing upsetting about being single during the holiday season or any time of year for that matter. It just means we haven't met the right person yet. Or, if you are a hopeless romantic like myself, it means we haven't met the one yet. The great news is that we aren't hanging around the wrong relationship while secretly waiting for the right one to come along or, worse yet, unknowingly in the wrong relationship.
" One of the major benefits of being single, which often gets overlooked, is that it allows us time to focus on ourselves and the areas of our life that may need attention like our health or careers."
Often times, we tend to look at being single as a negative attribute rather than a positive one. One of the major benefits of being single, which often gets overlooked, is that it allows us time to focus on ourselves and the areas of our life that may need attention like our health or careers. Being more mindful of these things not only helps us to improve the quality of our life, but they also help us pave the way to finding great love. Because the happier we are about our life, the more that happiness radiates out to others and sooner or later we're bound to catch the attention of the right person.
So if you are feeling a little bah humbug about your relationship status this year, I invite you to remind yourself about all of the freedom and flexibility being single allows us. Not to mention all of the other wonderful things outside of a relationship that we have to be grateful for like our family and friends, a job we hopefully love -- if not read here -- our health and the fact that we are still alive and breathing!
If you're just getting out of a relationship, you may want to read 7 Empowering Ways for Women to Overcome a Breakup.
Being single doesn't have to be a travesty, but if it still feels like it is, survive the holidays with these eight tips for the single gal!
1. Family and Friends. The holidays are a time of year to forgive and hopefully forget past grievances and to build new, stronger relationships with those nearest and dearest to us. Time being so precious, spending a little more quality time -- especially if it's only once a year -- with our family and friends this holiday season might be just what we need to help remind ourselves that even though we don't have a "special someone," we have lots of special people in our lives who love and care about us. And that is something to be grateful and happy about!
2. Downsize and Donate. If we haven't gone through our wardrobes recently, the holiday season, aka "the season of giving," is a great time of year to clean out our closets. Spend a few hours this weekend cleaning out any lingering clothing items that may no longer fit or we simply never wear and donate them to someone who could put them to us. Now is a wonderful time to get rid of the old so that we can make way for the new.
3. Pamper Yourself. Often times when we are in a relationship a lot of our time and energy gets directed towards our significant other and we forget to take care of ourselves. A great way to check and see if we do this in relationships is to see how we feel after leaving the relationship. Do we feel lighter, almost relieved? If so, that may be a good indicator that we were giving too much in a previous relationship. Let's take some extra time this December to dote on and treat ourselves like someone we love. Splurge a little on some fancy, sparkly holiday manicures -- I got red sparkles! -- enjoy more evenings out with girlfriends, go on a date or heck, be a little more adventurous and try indoor rock climbing with a friend.
"Often times when we are in a relationship a lot of our time and energy gets directed towards our significant other and we forget to take care of ourselves."
4. Work It Out. Since we have some extra leisure time, to avoid idleness, boredom or worse yet, a why-am-I-single depression, take time to do something positive and healthy. In fact, now is a great time to jumpstart our 2015 New Year's health and fitness goals and resolutions. We could even combine tip number 1, like I did recently, by supporting a loved one (in this case my mom) or friend in reaching their fitness or weight loss goal for the upcoming year. If you are already a fitness fanatic, maybe try spicing your workout up with something new like Zumba, which my mom and I tried, and let's dance our way to the bodies we want.
5. Deck the Halls. Take a break from last minute holiday shopping after work one evening and drive out to see some holiday decorations. This will really bring out the magic of the holiday season. Some of the extravagant holiday decorations, like the ones in Naples Canal in Long Beach and enjoying the beautifully decorated homes, a friend of mine said the experience gave her a zen-like, "woosah" feeling afterward.
"Remember, just because we are single right now, doesn't mean we will be single forever."
6. Socialize and Be Merry. The holiday season gives us an extra reason to dress up, throw on some holiday red lipstick, be merry and meet new people. Remember, just because we are single right now doesn't mean we will be single forever. Who knows, while sipping a little eggnog or spiked apple cider under the mistletoe this year, we might just bump into the one. So no bah humbug mood. Get out there, mingle and socialize. There's still time to meet that special someone before going into hibernation mode for the winter!
7. Eat Well. If we've been watching our weight all yearlong, maybe it's time to ease up a little and allow ourselves a few small indulgences during the holidays -- I've already gained five pounds, yikes! On the other hand, if we haven't been mindful of what we have been eating all yearlong, perhaps this is a good time -- as tip number 4 suggests -- to get a jumpstart on our 2015 health and fitness goals and resolutions. We could make twice the impact by incorporating more healthy and nutritious foods into our diets now.
8. Holiday Movies. Spend a quiet evening home alone or with a friend catching up on some classic or maybe not-so-classic holiday movies. It's a wonderful way to get into the holiday spirit, laugh, smile and maybe even shed a few tears in the comforts of our home. Make some hot ginger tea or indulge in some hummus with toasted whole wheat pita bread to warm you up.